Kill Me, Not
by bittasummer
Summary: Sequel to Dare Me, Not. Everyone's just coping in their own way and Clare is determined to find some truth in the tangled mess she and Eli appear to be in. Eclare. Multi-chapter. Work in progress.
1. Intro: Graduation Day

**A/N: **Bonjour! I hope people are still interested in the Dare Me, Not sequel. Everything will be wrapped up in this one, and will probably be a lot shorter than the previous story. If you've just clicked onto this, you should probably go and read the first one, because this won't make any sense otherwise. Let me know what you think? :)

* * *

**Title: Kill Me, Not**

**Author:** BittaSummer19

**Summary:** Sequel to Dare Me, Not.

AU of Clare's Senior year and Eli's Freshman year at TU. It's been eight months since the Charity Auction night. Eli's recovered, Clare's on the warpath, Fiona's struggling with alcoholism, and Adam is on anti-anxiety pills. Eli's previously comatose ex girlfriend Julia has woken from her coma, but not everyone is happy about that. Clare's still hell-bent on getting to the truth of what actually happened that night, and the truth may be more sinister than she originally thought.

**Pairings:** Major: Eclare. Minor: Fiona/OC, Adam/OC, Alli/Drew

**Rating:** Mature!

**Notes:** Intro is set in June, six months since the end of Dare Me, Not. Chapters 1 and onwards are set two months later in August. Like in Dare Me, Not - the Intro is 7,000 to 10,000 words with the chapters at least 4,000 to 5,000 words.

**Warnings:** Themes of sexual tension, mature scenes, profanity, death, depression, angst, murder, substance abuse, minor violence

**Disclaimer:** Don't own, don't sue.

* * *

**Intro:**

**"Graduation Day"  
**

**oOo**

**Late June**

Eli drummed his fingers against the soft and new looking black leather couch. The room stank of cigarettes and alcohol, which seemed to be ironic considering where he was. He glanced around, feeling more awkward than before. Second last day of his Senior year and here he was, sitting in Degrassi High's psychologist office. He'd never been there before, but he was surprised to find it was less depressing than he imagined it to be.

Adam was sitting next to him, giving him the same old bored 'eye roll', Clare was on the other couch with Fiona, idly checking her nails and scrunching her face up when she saw they weren't even. The woman in the chair - the school psychologist - had smooth dark hair and black framed glasses. She seemed to be writing something down on her little black notebook, even though nobody had said anything since they had entered.

Eventually, the psychologist who called herself Nina Henderson looked up from her notebook and asked, "So, why are we all here today?" silence rocked the room. Nina added, "Nobody can tell me why Principal Simpson personally assigned me to evaluate your mental health for perspective colleges and universities? Eli and Fiona, you're Seniors, aren't you? I'm sure colleges would love to know why your high school Principal thought this meeting was necessary."

"I'm also sure Principal Simpson would just _love _to know that you drink and smoke on the job," Fiona quipped back, smiling.

"Takes one to know one," Adam mumbled.

Nina began writing again. Fiona scowled. They had a team plan, a unified force. Come in here, don't talk, don't give anything away, and make it impossible for the therapist to come to any conclusions. But of course, things _never _go as planned. Just ask Imogen.

"Eli, let's start with you," Nina licked her lips, "Six months ago, you are knocked down by a person you assumed was your friend-"

"Not technically true," Eli interjected.

Nina continued like she had never been interrupted, "-which happens to be the same night that you and Clare are publically humiliated, and also your comatose girlfriend who you got knocked over, woke up-"

"Again, not true," Eli swayed his head slightly, "Julia was my ex, and I didn't actually get her knocked over."

"Then there's Clare," Nina ignored Eli and turned to the brunette, "You never liked Imogen did you? You always thought she hated you, turns out you were completely right. It must have been painful for you, to trust Eli and then find out he was just playing a game with your heart-"

Eli started to get angry, "Actually once again, not completely-"

"And then there's Adam," Nina looked over to Adam, who was fidgeting with his thumbs, "Who has his own little secret."

Adam paled, his throat went dry, "Sorry, what?"

"I read body language," Nina explained, "The fidgeting, the refusal to make eye contact, the tension in your shoulders. Classic signs of secret keeping."

Adam swallowed.

"And then…. Fiona," Nina continued with a smile on her face. "The rich girl turned poor. The in closet lesbian. I noted earlier that Adam implied you were a particular alcohol drinker yourself. Social or regular?"

"Why don't you have a drink with me after school, and I'll tell you myself?" Fiona flirted sarcastically.

Nina laughed slightly, "So many issues in one room. This reminds me of the time I found out my sister was my mother. Awkward times, am I right?" she leaned forwards and then stared at them, "Well, you need those awkward times. You need to be set free of your secrets, because secrets are made to be found out, understand? Nobody takes their secrets to their grave," she let out a deep breath and composed herself. "Sometimes they're not easy to say and even harder to hear, but I'm here to listen. Principal Simpson is very worried about all of you."

Clare asked, "What exactly is it you want from us, Miss Henderson?" she smiled perkily, but it was fake.

"I want the truth," Nina tapped the pen in her hand against her notebook. "I mean Clare, there's you. According to your mother, you've given up on God and insist on walking around like a robot."

"A chipper robot who won't stop being fake," Adam added.

Clare looked at Adam with a head tilt.

"Correct," Nina pointed at him, "Then we've got Fiona, who drinks in classes and throws up during lunch hours. And Eli, who spends all his time writing sad, soppy plays about love and betrayal and psychopaths. And Adam, whose confidence has shrunk from 78 percent to a belittling 24 percent."

"What do you expect?" Eli shook his head, "I was run over by a crazy bitch, and then found out my ex has woken from her coma. Not to mention the Clare thing. Everyone here felt betrayed by me, and then Imogen. It took me ages to heal after the accident. My own mother didn't even visit me, and I'm still unsure whether my dad even knew about my accident. Thank god I have insurance left, because attempted murder is very expensive, especially if you survive."

"Actually," Clare added, "I was the one Imogen tried to murder."

"Yes, but I was the one who was hit," Eli replied.

"Like you didn't deserve it," Fiona said lightly, jokingly, but Eli tensed, and Clare looked down at her nails again.

"Eli and Clare," Nina said suddenly, "Clare and Eli. Who are you two? Separately, as individuals?"

Fiona pointed to Clare and said, "That's _Clare_," she pointed to Eli and said, "And that's _Eli_. See how their different? One's a …_girl_, and one's a …_boy_."

Nina looked at Fiona was annoyance. "Thank you for that, Fiona."

Fiona waved her hand dismissively, "No problem."

Nina turned back to Eli, and Clare. "Well?" she asked.

"I'm Eli," Eli said suddenly, "I write sad, sappy plays about love and betrayals and psychopaths."

"And I'm Clare," Clare said after him, "I bake cookies, and sing songs like Snow White and have all the animals flock to my feminine stature."

"Cute," Nina quipped sarcastically. She said, "Let's talk about the future. Eli, Fiona, you're both graduating tomorrow. What are your plans for the Fall?"

"Eli and I are both going to TU," Fiona replied, "I'm majoring in Theatre and Acting with minors in Fashion and Textiles, Foreign Languages and Sociology.

"I'm studying Theatre Scripts and Plays, Creative Writing and Journalism," Eli replied.

"How exciting," Nina's eyes flashed unexpectedly, "Did you both get dorms on campus?"

"I chose to stay in my apartment, but Eli applied for a dorm room at TU," Fiona said.

"I'm still waiting to hear back from them," Eli added, shifting uncomfortably.

Nina nodded, "Well, as much as I think this has been a complete and utter waste of time, I'd rather wished Principal Simpson had referred you four to me months ago, but of course, it's Principal Simpson so what can you expect?"

"So did we pass?" Adam asked, "You'll give us all a tick of mental stability?"

"Why not?" Nina shrugged flippantly, "We all need a bit of crazy in our lives. It would be boring without. You are free to go. Enjoy your lives, and try not to kill anyone."

They all stood up and walked over to the door when Nina turned and said, "Oh Clare. Could you hang back for a moment?" the others left the room and Clare took a step forward, waiting.

Nina stood up, "When your Senior year starts back up after summer break, I'd like to continue seeing you."

"Oh Miss Henderson," Clare smiled sweetly, "I'm truly flattered but you know student/teacher relationships just won't work."

Nina folded her arms, "I hope you enjoy your sarcasm, Clare, but sarcasm won't fill the void you feel in your heart. It won't help the insecurity and fear you feel when you're walking down a dark alley. It won't heal the hurt you feel. It will just leave you dried up, and bitter."

Clare's face stayed motionless.

Nina asked softly, "What are you feeling, Clare? Truly?"

"Off record?" Clare asked, voice unusually low.

Nina paused, and then said, "Off record."

"I'm feeling like I won't ever go back to normal until the person who's after me is locked up," Clare replied.

Nina frowned, "I'm confused, Clare. I thought Imogen was the one who tried to knock you over?"

Clare took a deep breath and then said, "She was," she spun around and headed for the door, "But someone else was working with her. And I'm not going to stop until I find out who it is."

Clare opened the door, walked out, and left Nina speechless.

**oOo**

**The Next Day  
**

Fiona threw her graduation cap up in the air and posed for a photo taken by Adam. Clare stood beside him, bored, and glancing down at her phone every twelve seconds. Fiona pulled Eli into her arms and Adam snapped a few shots of them. If Adam and Fiona hadn't dragged Clare to the graduation ceremony she wouldn't even be there. Even being around Eli was still hard to deal with, and everyone had been on edge ever since the Charity Auction night.

Not to mention the awkward therapy session yesterday. Eli and Fiona looked like twins in their matching graduation robes and caps. Adam kept calling them 'cute' to annoy them and Clare smiled when necessary and went back to typing on her phone. She had posted several 'HAVE YOU SEEN?' pages on a few social networking sites, asking anyone who had seen Imogen in the months before her death to contact her.

If Imogen had been seen with anyone, then maybe that someone was the real Dare Overlord. But, nobody had replied to her, and Clare was slowly running out of leads. Imogen's parents had up and moved - not to Indiana like Imogen had originally stated - but to British Columbia. Eli had healed, and was seeking a new friendship with the recently awake Julia. Adam was content not talking about any of it, and Clare was frankly, obsessed.

A couple of hooting noises from Clare's left entered her ears and she saw Sav, Drew and Dave running towards Eli and Fiona to jump into the pictures taken by Adam. Clare bristled slightly. Whenever she saw Dave and Drew, she immediately thought of Jenna, K.C, and Bianca. The fresh memory of her humiliation had only lasted that night and had successfully been taken over by Eli's assault and Imogen's death, but that didn't mean that Clare didn't hurt just thinking about it.

A lot had changed in the last six months since the Charity Auction night. Fiona had stayed on at Randall's firm and been promoted to Human Resources' Reception Secretary, which was good, because then she didn't have to deal with the uptight paralegal Melanie. Clare found a job at her favourite local book shop, and they had even found a fourth roommate for the fourth unused bedroom that Alli used to sleep in during weekends, Bank Holidays and in-service days.

Sav, who had just turned eighteen along with the rest of his Seniors took up the fourth bedroom, after getting a partial scholarship to TU to study Music. He found two part-time jobs and even managed to fit in the same social life he was always used to. Alli had been badgering her parents to let her take Eli's room if he got a dorm on the TU campus, but they were insistent on her staying with them until she herself turned eighteen.

"Hey you," Alli said as she walked up to Clare, wrapping an arm around her waist. They'd repaired the damage their friendship had endured, and now Clare was possibly closer to Alli than she was to Adam and Fiona. Alli had really matured in the last six months. Finding her best friend crying in the middle of a hospital car park next to a car she had vandalised really made her see how selfish and self centred she'd really been, about everything.

"Hey," Clare smiled back, turning back to her phone. Another missed call from her mother, and several voicemails from her local church's Minister. Clare had well and truly given up on her faith, and had stopped attending Church and sermons with Helen months ago. Clare found that when she put faith into nothing, she got zero disappointment in return. If you expect nothing, then you lose nothing.

"I can't wait to be done with this place!" Fiona cried, jumping up and down happily, "We have to celebrate tonight! Big dinner, all of us!"

"How can we afford that?" Adam asked Fiona, snapping another picture.

"My Godmother sent me cash, as a graduation present!" Fiona smiled and posed for a photo taken by the school's profession photographer.

"If you insist on buying us dinner, then we surely can't protest," Adam grinned cheekily. "Who can pass up a free dinner?"

_I can,_ Clare thought with dread.

"Great!" Fiona cried, "Then we're all going! Even you two, Drew and Dave," she looked uneasy, but maybe that's because Drew and Dave hadn't been the kindest to her in the past but like everyone since that night, they had changed as well. Drew and Dave had cut off ties with K.C, Jenna and Bianca and had stuck by Eli, visiting him every day and helping him recover from his injuries.

"Plus ones are not an option," Fiona added curtly, but it was directed at Eli. Eli had bonded with Julia over the past months and he'd slowly but surely introduced her to the apartment, which nobody was happy with. Clare could hardly stand to be there as it was with Eli. Add his ex to the mix, and Clare spent all of her time in her room, studying late at school, working, or staying at Alli's.

Clare looked at the incoming call on her phone; _**Restricted Number is calling you: Answer or Decline**_. She scrunched up her nose slightly. That was the fifth time that month that a blocked number had been calling her. Every time she answered, she got the same thing: silence, and the sound of someone breathing. It was freaking her out, to say the least. She answered it, moving away from the others to press her phone to her ear. Nothing. Silence. Breathing.

And then something in the background made her freeze. The sound of a marching band on the other end of the line sounded… _familiar_. Clare looked up, glanced across the outside cafeteria and saw the Choir and Marching Band a few yards away. She pressed her fingers to her free ear to make sure she wasn't just hearing the music noise on her end. Nope. She was also hearing the same marching band on the caller's line.

Whoever kept calling her with a restricted number could be the same person who had texted her from a blocked number six months ago when Imogen's body was found in the local ravine. If they were one in the same person and Clare could hear the marching band in their background… that meant they were there, _now_. Watching her. Clare shivered, glanced up and scanned the crowd, trying to see if anyone was on their phone.

Everything was just so busy, and crowded. People were moving, and hugging, and celebrating. Clare couldn't make any sense of it. "Hello?" she asked the person on the other end. "Who is this?" the line went dead and Clare sighed, putting her phone back in her pocket. She had to get to the bottom of this, soon.

She was about to turn back to Alli and the others when something made her stop. A few yards away, across the road was… Jenna, sitting on a bench by herself, staring down at her graduation cap in her hands. Clare hesitated. She had made it very clear to Jenna and Bianca to stay out of her way for the rest of their school year, and after the events of the Charity Auction night, they'd actually agreed, and hadn't given her much grief.

So why was Clare feeling like she actually wanted to walk over there and talk to Jenna? Clare shook her head and turned away, stopping abruptly when she heard a quaint sob escape from Jenna's lips. Cursing her good nature, Clare spun back around, crossed the road and stopped right before Jenna, staring at the dejected looking blonde. A few tears escaped Jenna's eyes.

"What's up, Jenna?" Clare asked, "Did you find out that aging does in fact affect your looks?"

Jenna sniffed and glanced up to Clare with surprise. She tugged at her graduation robe and said hoarsely, "My life is over."

"I wouldn't say that," Clare sat down next to Jenna, "Sure, you probably won't be as popular in college as you were in high school, but I'm sure you'll make up for it with your attitude."

"I can't go to college," Jenna suddenly whined, hands up in the air. "I'm pregnant!"

"Wow," Clare checked her nails, "I thought K.C lost all his manhood when he started dating you."

"This isn't funny!" Jenna screeched, "My life is over! K.C has left me! I can't go to college! I can't raise this baby all by myself! All I have is my brother!" she hiccupped from the crying, "What am I going to do?"

"You have options," Clare said seriously, "There's adoption, abortion, foster care."

"Abortion?" Jenna's eyes widened, "You - good girl saint - would suggest that?"

"I lost my faith a long time ago, pretty much around the same time I lost everything else, thanks to you," Clare spat, her blood boiling whenever she thought of the Charity Auction night and that freaking video that ambushed the event. Thank god for computer geeks Connor and Wesley or that thing would have gone viral.

"Oh my god," Jenna whispered. She looked over to Clare. "I'm so sorry."

"What?" Clare's head snapped round.

"Clare, I'm so, so, sorry," Jenna repeated, crying, "I had no idea I would hurt you that much. Okay that's a lie, I did want to hurt you, but it's only because I was so insecure about K.C. Turns out he was the real jackass, not you. As soon as I found out I was pregnant, he fled, and now I'm all alone."

Clare swallowed. She hadn't expected _that_.

"You're just so decent, Clare," Jenna wiped her smeary mascara from her face, "You would never set out to hurt anyone like I did."

Clare looked down guiltily. "Actually, that's not entirely true," she said, "Remember a couple of months after Winter Break, when that supposed SDT scandal about you, and Bianca and K.C popped up on Degrassi's forum?"

Jenna nodded back, "Yes, it was horrible. People talked about me for months."

Clare licked her lips, "Well that was me."

Jenna's face fell, "What?"

"I wanted payback," Clare explained, "I got Connor to help me out with it and then I sent it, to all the other schools, and colleges in the area."

Jenna went pale, but then she shrugged weakly, "I guess I deserved it."

"You did," Clare nodded, and then she looked at Jenna. For some reason, they both burst out laughing at the same time, dissolving into quiet chuckling.

Jenna asked quietly, "How have you been doing, Clare?"

"Fine," Clare shrugged slightly, "Don't I sound fine?"

Jenna looked at her with a narrowed gaze, like she was studying her. "No you don't. You sound forced. What's going on with you?"

"I don't know, Jenna," Clare began sarcastically, "Maybe somebody ruined my entire life whilst publically humiliating me. Maybe somebody tried to kill me. Maybe there's another person out there, running around, trying to get me."

"You sound paranoid," Jenna pushed her hair back, "Imogen killed herself. Just because the police ruled it homicide does not mean it was. Come on, the girl was psycho! She tried to kill you, but the stupid bitch missed and got Eli! She probably knew she was headed for a life in prison and wanted to skip to the end. Who could blame her? It's not like anybody would rush to stop her."

"Jenna, she has a family," Clare said hoarsely. Clare was never going to be Imogen's biggest fan, but clearly the girl was messed up in the head, mentally. To a certain degree, maybe her actions weren't her own. Despite what Imogen did, she had a family, who had lost a daughter. Even if Imogen had wanted to kill Clare, Clare knew she had to find out who had really killed her - before she became the second victim.

"_Had _a family," Jenna corrected Clare.

Clare sighed softly, and then stood up again. She looked at Jenna awkwardly and gave her a sarcastic smile. "Nobody should know we had this little conversation," she said.

"Well, duh," Jenna rolled her eyes, "I can't be seen talking to Clare Edwards, the religious virgin."

"And I can't be seen talking to Jenna Middleton, the stuck up bitch," Clare snapped back.

Jenna cranked her eyebrow up and said, "Wow Clare, you really did grow a pair, didn't you?"

Clare said seriously, "Talk to your brother, okay Jenna? Don't do anything impulsive or stupid. K.C's a dickhead, you're better off without him. But talk to someone you trust."

"And there she is," Jenna stood up as well, "The old Clare Edwards is never far below the surface."

Clare snorted slightly. She was already walking away when she yelled back, "Keep being a bitch, Jenna!"

Jenna called back, "Lighten up, you cranky bible basher!"

Clare gave Jenna the finger as she crossed the road towards the group she'd left to answer her phone as she heard Jenna laugh in return.

"Did I just see you laughing with _Jenna Middleton_?" Alli asked Clare, her eyes narrowing into slits.

"Don't be silly, she's a bitch," Clare brushed it off. She changed the subject quickly, "So what are we doing tonight?"

"Fiona's taking us all out for a graduation ceremony dinner," Alli shrugged back, licking her lips. "Big money gift from her aunt or godmother or someone she knows," she laughed softly, and then asked seriously, "Clare, are you okay?"

Clare took a deep breath. She was sick to death of people asking her if she was 'okay.' No, she wasn't freaking okay, but admitting it wouldn't make anything any better. Eli would still have broken her heart. Julia would still be awake, and in Eli's life. Imogen would still be dead. Nothing was freaking 'okay' anymore. It hadn't been for a long time.

**oOo**

**Later That Afternoon  
**

Clare was in the kitchen, adjusting her bracelet when Eli walked out of the hallway, fixing his belt. Fiona was hogging the bathroom mirror and Adam and the others were meeting them at the restaurant. Sav was sitting in the living room, playing his Xbox game. Clare's lungs tightened. Another awkward run in with Eli. Usually, they timed their schedules so well, it was almost like they knew where they should be - just to avoid the other.

Clare had worked so hard to bring her life back to normal, avoiding Eli and his frequent times with Julia, who he swore to Fiona was 'just a friend.' At first, Eli had resisted their differently timed lives. He knocked on Clare's door, sent her flowers, and hadn't even said a word about his hearse, which was completely totalled. Thank god he had Bullfrog's car, or God knows how he would have gotten around. He even had it moved, from the hospital car park to just outside the apartment, so whenever he saw it, he reminded himself of how much he had hurt Clare. He was always a masochist that way.

But then one night… he just stopped trying. It was something particularly odd. He was walking home after his shift at the Dot one night and he passed a cinema complex that was showing Chuck Palahniuk's Fight Club. Their first date. The drive in theatre, lying on the hood of Morty, eating junk food, and watching Brad Pitt.

That was the night they got their tattoos. That was the night they first became intimate with each other. It was all a blur now. Six months after his accident, and everything was just a blur. All their times together, and everything he felt, was so real, that it almost made him… numb.

And then later that night, he was having a conversation with Fiona in the kitchen, when Eli stumbled across a sketch on a piece of paper. It was like a spider diagram, with a bunch of people's names on it. It had his name, and hers, Fiona's, Adam's, Jenna's, Alli's, most of their friends and school peers' names. It was in Clare's handwriting.

Eli had asked Fiona what it was, and ever so casually, Fiona said, "Oh that's Clare's, she's like obsessed. It's all she ever talks about." Eli couldn't shake that feeling of guilt. The Dare Overlord, and Imogen aside, he had been the one to ultimately destroy Clare. He had changed her, for the worst.

So he let her go, for all intents and purposes. Clare made it clear she didn't want him back, and he let her slip through his fingers. It broke his heart all over again. It had been literal torture; living a door away from her, but never being able to see her, or talk to her, or spend any time with her. Their lives had fallen into an uncomfortable pattern of avoid and ignore.

She looked exceptionally pretty on this very occasion. Her hair was longer, and she'd straightened it, and her pouty red lips were the main attraction. She was wearing a black dress, with flats and a purple cardigan. She was there physically, but mentally and emotionally, she was gone. He could see it in his eyes; she wasn't Clare Edwards anymore. Not really.

"Is Fiona ready yet?" Clare asked the room, but she was really talking to Sav.

"Like hell she is," Sav replied, "She's been in there for like two hours."

"I might just order a cab then, I need to pick up something at the store," Clare grabbed her purse.

"Eli will take you," Sav said casually, "That actually works for me, because then you can get my eye drops while you're out," he glanced to Eli and Clare. Sav was still pretty new to the apartment, and even though he was aware of Eli and Clare's situation, he often put his foot in it, and Eli suspected he even did it purposefully.

Eli rubbed the back of his neck nervously, shrugging slightly. He said, "Fine," he glanced to Clare, "If you want."

Clare's eyes blazed at him. Her eyes said 'Stop breaking our agreement.' The one where they didn't speak, or interact, or even acknowledge each other's existence. It was tiring though. Extremely.

"Go!" Sav cried suddenly, breaking the tension, "I got my eyes to moisten."

"Fine," Clare grumbled, heading towards the door. She opened it and strode out, not even waiting for Eli.

Eli grabbed his leather jacket and said to Sav, "I thought you just got new eye drops."

"I know," Sav grinned to himself, still playing the Xbox game. "You're welcome."

Eli shook his head, grabbed Bullfrog's car keys and headed out the open door, closing it behind him. Clare was already sitting at the passenger side, looking white as a ghost and bitter as hell. Eli wondered what fresh hell would come his way this time.

**oOo**

Eli fumbled with the radio in Bullfrog's car as Clare glanced out of the passenger side window, sighing. Awkward didn't even begin to describe them anymore. How do you act around a person, who was once your everything? Clare knew it was ridiculous that she had made Eli her everything, but it was such a natural progression that she hadn't even really realised it.

"I saw your mother at the shops yesterday," Eli commented suddenly.

Clare's lips tightened.

"She was buying milk," Eli continued lamely.

"Oh?" Clare sighed.

"She said she hasn't spoken to you in months," Eli added.

"Four, to be exact," Clare replied. "Is this your small talk?"

"What would you rather me do?" Eli kept his eyes on the road ahead of him. "Talk about us? The Dare Overlord? Julia?"

"There it is," Clare mumbled to herself angrily, "You just can't go a day without talking about that tramp."

"Tramp?" Eli retorted.

"She lied to you, Eli," Clare glared at him, "She tried to make you think that she thought you two were still together. If that doesn't scream psycho then I don't know what does."

"And I guess vandalising my hearse gives you a perfect bill of mental health," Eli muttered darkly. "How do you even know Julia lied to me?"

"Fiona told me," Clare folded her arms tightly, "If she didn't tell me things, I probably wouldn't know them."

"It's quite ironic really," Eli said, "You don't believe in God anymore yet your high horse is bigger than ever."

"Least I have a right to a high horse," Clare spat back.

"I preferred you when you were walking around, acting like a plastic robot," Eli gripped the driving wheel tightly.

"Well, it's a good thing I don't need to worry about what you think any more," Clare snapped.

"When did you ever?" Eli muttered under his breath.

"What did you say?" Clare shrieked, "I gave up everything for you! Even myself! And you ruined everything!"

Eli made a sharp turn into the back roads, steam coming from his ears.

"Watch where you're going!" Clare cried, bracing herself. "Why are you going this way? The chemist is back that way!"

"I'm taking a short cut!" Eli cried back, "It's my car, I'll go in whatever direction I want to."

"So typical," Clare rolled her eyes, "Eli Goldsworthy, just swarms in and takes over, like he knows everything when in reality he knows nothing."

"Clare, are you honestly going to blame me for everything?" Eli asked angrily, "It's not like I saved you by sacrificing myself! It's not like I got knocked over, just so you wouldn't. It's not like I haven't tried to make amends!"

"Nobody asked you to push me out of the way," Clare gritted her teeth, "It didn't really matter, did it? You'd already killed me that night, anyway."

"As if I didn't hurt myself that night either!" Eli cried.

"Watch out!" Clare screamed suddenly. A deer from the woods sprung out and jumped into the middle of the road. Clare reached across the space, grabbed the wheel and turned it abruptly, sending the car flying forwards into the woods. The deer sprang away from the road and darted off, unharmed. Eli's car jerked awkwardly and Eli braked just before they went crashing into a nearby tree.

"Shit!" Eli got out of the car, grimacing, "Well done. That's the second car of mine you've totalled."

"Don't be so dramatic," Clare unbuckled her seat belt and jumped out, walking around to where Eli was standing. There it was. The front tyre of his car was burst, flat. Clare said, "It's only a flat. Hardly totalled."

"I left my phone in the kitchen," Eli folded his arms, "Where is yours?"

Clare sighed, "I turned mine off and left it in my room because... Never mind." She'd left it behind because she couldn't handle any more creepy blocked phone calls that night. She added, "What the hell are we supposed to do now? Just stand around and wait until someone passes us? We have a dinner to get to!"

"I don't know, Clare," Eli replied restlessly, "Obviously there's nothing else to do in this situation."

"I knew I shouldn't have got in the car with you," Clare muttered under her breath.

"You're the one that drove us into the woods," Eli said sharply, "I could have braked in time before I hit that deer, but you didn't have any faith in me."

"Can you blame me?" Clare's eyes blazed with fire.

"I guess not," Eli replied, with less anger in his voice this time. Only sadness.

"Maybe we could walk back," Clare glanced away from him, unable to handle her emotions again.

"All the way back? It would take forever, and it would get dark, soon," Eli said. "Someone will pass soon, I'm sure of it."

**oOo**

**Six Hours Later  
**

"This is hopeless," Clare groaned, her head leant back on the passenger seat, as the passenger door was swung open for air. She glanced through the windshield and saw Eli, lying on the hood of the car, staring up at the dark night sky. Clare sighed, stepped out of the car and said, "Eli, it's been six hours, and we've not seen one single car pass. We should start walking back now."

"And leave my dad's car here?" Eli slid off the hood.

"I need to pee, for god sake!" Clare suddenly cried.

Eli gestured towards the woods with an expectant look.

"Absolutely not!" Clare shrieked, "I've got some class left."

Eli took in the sight of Clare, her messy disheveled hair, crumpled dress and red cheeks and suddenly let out a stomach roaring laugh.

"What is so funny?" Clare demanded.

Eli finally stopped laughing and shook his head with affection. He missed seeing Clare like this. This was the first time he'd spent with her in ages. The first couple of hours went by with Clare playing the radio, but when that died, Eli decided to imagine faces and pictures in clouds and when that got boring, Clare and Eli tried playing 'I Spy.' It got boring fast, but somehow, time seemed to have fly with them. They hadn't spent quality time together in ages and somehow, they just slotted back together, like no time had passed at all.

"I miss you, Clare," Eli said seriously, "I just miss you, that's all."

Clare couldn't help but swallow the tightness in her throat. She whispered back, "Yeah, I miss you too."

Eli took a dangerous step towards her and Clare immediately stepped back, asking quietly, "What are you doing?"

"Sorry," Eli looked up at the sky again, "Sometimes wanting to hold you is just like second nature to me."

"Let's not talk about this," Clare turned her back on him, folding her arms. It was too painful, to think about how they used to be together.

Eli soundlessly crossed the distance between them and spun her around. Clare opened her mouth to protest, but Eli smashed their lips together and drove his tongue inside, trying to get her to understand the torture he felt every single day. Clare resisted at first but when Eli slipped his hand behind her neck, she immediately gave in and moaned instinctively.

Their lips melded together and Clare tugged him closer, desperate to feel him again, after all this time. Eli's fingers slipped down the length of her, feeling every inch of her through her dress. Clare moved impulsively towards him, running her hands through his hair and basking in his strong masculine scent. It was heaven. Pure and shameful lust. And love, buried deep beneath.

"Stop it!" Clare suddenly pushed him away from her. "You can't just kiss me like that!"

"I'm not sorry," Eli practically barked, "I know you aren't either!"

"That doesn't matter," Clare screeched, "I'm not here for your entertainment! You can't just run off with your ex girlfriend whenever you feel like it and then kiss me like that! It's too confusing."

"You really must have some complex, Clare," Eli turned away, jaw steeled. "I've already told you, Julia and I are just friends! Do you really want to know why she's still my friend? Do you really?"

"No!"

"Well tough, I'm telling you anyway. She tried to _kill_ herself, Clare. She flung herself in front of a car, because we broke up," Eli said through gritted teeth, "What was I supposed to do for fuck sake? I was all she had!"

Clare sighed and ran a hand through her hair. "I didn't know," she said quietly.

"Nobody did," Eli leant against his car. "Everybody thought it was the driver's fault. Even the driver."

"What happened?" Clare looked over to him.

"Julia went to the police and confessed everything. The driver's record was wiped clean and so long as Julia attended her therapist meetings, the police weren't going to charge for attempting suicide," Eli replied.

"And Julia's... okay?" Clare asked.

"She's much, much better," Eli nodded his head. He quickly, "I'm sorry I haven't been there for you, Clare. All these months and we've just let each other float away, haven't we?"

"I've been busy," Clare managed.

"Creating spider diagrams and concocting up theories," Eli looked down at his converses, "I found one of your little... charts in the kitchen one day. I blame myself really, for making you... like that."

Clare looked irritated, "Trust me, it's got nothing to do with you. Imogen was murdered, even the police think so. Not to mention my anonymous text from the real mastermind and all the weird creepy phone calls I've been getting lately. I'm not going crazy, Eli. There is somebody else behind the whole thing."

"Maybe there is," Eli agreed, "But that doesn't explain your change. I hardly even recognise you anymore."

"I hardly even recognise myself," she said without a moment's thought.

Eli let out a tempered sigh. He began, "I really, really regret last year, Clare. The dare, I mean."

"It may not sound like it, Eli," Clare whispered back, "But I've forgiven you for that. I get it. You didn't think you'd fall for me and then when you did, it was already too late. I understand, kind of. If I was in the same position, maybe I would have done the same thing, with money being tight and everything. You wanted a way out, and the dare was there. It was easy."

"It wasn't easy," Eli shook his head, "It was the greatest and worst thing of my life. Without it, I wouldn't have gotten to know you, but ultimately, it ruined everything. Quite the juxtaposition, isn't it?"

Silence.

Eli said suddenly, "Clare, is there any way you could ever... go back... to the way things were?"

Clare stared at him through the darkness, feeling her pounding heartbeat in her chest. She said, "I forgave you, Eli. But I don't think I'll ever be able to forget. You're the love of my life, no one is ever going to compare but... so much has happened, and I can't get past the rest. Not yet anyway."

"I understand," Eli replied hoarsely. He added, "We'll always have the memories."

"Yes," Clare smiled softly to herself.

A couple of minutes passed in dark dreary silence, until the sound of a moving car finally perked their ears. Clare sprang up, and Eli jolted forwards, ready to jump up and down with his arms waving about to attract attention. The car didn't need any further notice; it slowed by them immediately and the front door opened. Clare grimaced through the glaring headlights, trying to see who was approaching them.

"Julia?" Eli gasped.

Clare's eyes sprang open with shock as the sight of Julia came walking towards them.

"Hey," Julia said, "What happened here?"

"The car got a flat. What are you doing here?" Eli gasped, torn between amazement and confusion.

"I like driving through the back roads," Julia told him. She turned to Clare, "Hi, I'm Julia."

"We've met," Clare said, smiling tightly. They had met. Months ago, with Julia just woken up from her coma, staring at Eli, as he lay in his hospital room. Awkward.

"Oh right, sorry," Julia grimaced, "My memory's pretty good now but I don't remember much from when I woke up. Come on, you guys must be freezing," She beckoned them towards her car and Clare hesitantly climbed into the back seat as Eli climbed into the passenger seat.

"We'll have missed the dinner by now," Eli said to Clare. "We might as well just go home."

"Sure," Clare replied. It was one of the most awkward car rides she'd ever been in before. Julia and Eli talked like old friends and Clare just sat there, wishing the ground to open up and swallow her.

When they finally arrived home, Eli invited Julia up to the apartment, where everybody was sitting.

"What the hell, guys?" Fiona said tipsily as they walked through the front door, "I was five minutes away from calling the police, to report you two missing."

"Yeah," Adam agreed nervously, his hands shaking unnaturally, "Where the hell have you been?"

"Adam, are you okay?" Clare rushed towards him.

"I'm fine," Adam shoved his hands into his jeans pocket.

Sav, Alli, Drew and Dave stayed weirdly quiet at the sight of Clare, with Eli and Julia. The daree, the ex, and the ex. Not a good combo.

"We got a flat and were stranded for hours," Clare told the room as she took off her jacket.

"Eli, you got a little..." Sav said, gesturing to his lips.

Eli frowned and everyone turned to see the corner of Eli's lips; pink smudged lipgloss. Clare's eyes widened as she anxiously wiped her lips and watched Eli do the same.

"I should go," Julia said suddenly, "It was nice to see you all again."

"Text me when you get home," Eli said to her as she left.

"Clare, is it okay if I sleepover in your room?" Alli asked.

"It's fine," Clare nodded back.

"We better head as well," Drew said, looking at Dave. "Thanks for dinner, Fiona."

"No problem guys, drive safe!" Fiona cried after them as they exited the apartment.

Sav shared a look with Adam and Eli and turned back to the television.

Clare walked towards her bedroom and was suddenly shoved inside by Alli, who abruptly closed the door behind them.

"Spill!" Alli shrieked.

"What?" Clare's cheeks reddened.

"The smudged lipgloss," Alli pointed to Clare's lips. "Spill. Now."

"We kissed, he kissed, it was a just a kiss," Clare muttered.

"A kiss is never 'just a kiss'" Alli whispered back.

"No really, Alli. It was," Clare replied, going to sit down on her bed. "Tonight made me realise I've just been this empty zombie, walking around and saying all the appropriate things at the right time, because I've felt like something was holding me back. Like unresolved closure, or something. But talking to Eli made me realise that I've been holding onto him. Onto what we had, and that's unhealthy. I need to let him go, for real."

"And kissing is the way to do that?" Alli raised an eyebrow.

"It's one way," Clare sighed, "Maybe? I don't know, maybe it was the talking. We talked, for the first time in ages and I forgave him, for the dare. I want to forgive him for that, I don't want to hold a grudge or have to fight with him. Before he was my boyfriend, he was my best friend, you know? A part of me misses that friendship as well. But... we talked. He's letting go, and so I am. I have to. I can't live in this rut anymore."

"Does that mean giving up on finding out who killed Imogen?" Alli asked.

"I guess so," Clare whispered, looking down at the floor. "Maybe it's time for a real fresh start. Eli's going to University, I'm starting Senior year. Everything's changing. Moving on will help us grow... I think."

Alli sat down on the bed next to her and draped an arm over Clare's shoulder, "How's the moving on part going for you?"

Clare lay backwards on her bed and Alli moved backwards to lie with her. Clare said, "It's not. But maybe someday it will be."

Alli smiled sadly. "I always thought you and Eli would eventually work it out."

"Somethings just aren't meant to be, and if they are..." Clare mumbled, "Then they'll happen. Naturally."

Alli let out a deep sigh. She said, "I predict this year is going to be awesome. In two months time, we'll be back at school, ready to rule the Senior year."

Clare laughed, "Rule the Senior year? You really think so?"

"I do," Alli grinned back, "You're going to get over Eli. We're going to be the Queens of Degrassi, I will finally turn eighteen and everything will be fantastic in the world of Clare-Land."

And for a second, just a second, in that brief moment, Clare believed Alli. She believed things were going to get better.

How terribly optimistic. Before the end of the school year, things were going to get a lot, lot worse.

Before the end of the school year, somebody else was going to die.


	2. Places You Have Come To Fear The Most

**A/N: **Bonjour! You might notice that this one is a bit more fast paced than Dare Me, Not, because I really had to flesh out Eclare first. In this one, there will be Eclare interaction in every chapter so don't fret! There will be eventual Eclare sex in this so I'll let you know when that's coming up in case some of y'all are uncomfortable with that.

Anyway, review?!

X

* * *

**KILL ME, NOT**

**Chapter One:**

"**Places You Have Come To Fear The Most"**

**oOo**

**August**

As Clare walked towards Degrassi High, she already had a little theme song playing in her head. The background songs in movies are what life's really missing out on, Clare always thought, and so, in preparation for the end of summer and the beginning of a new term, she had already created a little song in her head for this moment. It was a cross between inspirational and jazzy, and Clare was already bobbing her head side to side as she entered the foyer of the school.

Summer had gone by surprisingly fast, and it hadn't been as depressing as she thought it might be. Sure, avoiding Eli and his new best friend Julia wasn't easy, but the rest of the summer had drifted in comfortably. The weird anonymous phone calls stopped coming and Clare had managed to let some curiosity over Imogen's death go. Clare still had the text she received from a blocked number eight months ago. Sometimes at night, when she was feeling bored, she reread it.

_Bet you think you're safe now that Imogen's gone. Guess again, Clare-bear. I'm still here, and I keep my promises. And I promise to see you soon!_

_Love, The Dare Overlord._

She had come to convince herself that the blocked text was just someone trying to mess with her, playing a cruel joke. Hell, even Bianca, K.C or Jenna could have been behind it, but it seemed unlikely. But that was a thought for another day. Clare didn't mind being the only high schooler in an apartment full of college goers, it made her feel way more grown up than she looked. The admissions at TU told Eli he wasn't far away enough to be made a priority and therefore wouldn't be receiving a dorm room. Clare tried not to look too disappointed. Getting over your ex really was hard when you lived with them.

_Eight months_. Eight months since their break up, since Eli's accident, since Imogen's death, since Julia woke up, and Clare getting that creepy blocked text. Eight months should have been long enough, right? Clare should feel _some_ closure by now, shouldn't she? She tried not to think too much about it, it still made her head spin.

"Clare!" Alli came bounding towards her best friend. "Can you believe this day is finally here? How awesome is this? We are finally Seniors. No more stupid Jenna, Bianca or K.C! Just you, me and Adam, ready to rule this place."

Clare laughed slightly, "Yeah. Have you seen Adam by the way? Didn't he look a little pale, and shaky last weekend? Maybe there's something going on with him."

"Or maybe, you're just being 'Clare' again," Alli shot her a look, "Don't go looking for trouble, Clare, because with your luck, you're bound to find it."

"Amen to that, sister."

**oOo**

"Eli, will you slow down?" Fiona dashed over to Eli, careful not to spill the cup of disposable coffee in her hands. She was momentarily distracted by shiny new college halls and bright, new faces. Ones that didn't know about her family's shameful money scamming past.

Eli glanced at her, frantically. "Fiona, are you kidding? It's our first day at TU, we should be early, not late."

Fiona rolled her eyes, "If you had accepted that dorm room they offered you, you could have slept in some more and rolled into class."

Eli looked at her, eyes wide, "We're still keeping that a secret, remember?"

"Right," Fiona nodded back, "You want Clare to think that they rejected you, so you had to stay at the apartment."

"In other words that don't make me so pathetic, yes," Eli sighed back. He added, "I already told you, that night that we were supposed to attend the Graduation Dinner, Clare and I... connected."

Fiona frowned at him. "I'm sorry, _connected_? Did you two happen to be naked and making the beast with two backs?"

"No," Eli grumbled regrettably, "I mean, not for lack of trying. But like I said the other week, we just... connected that night, and I'd only appeared to have moved on because it seemed like the healthiest option for her at the time, with the whole... stalker, Dare Overlord, Imogen debacle."

"Debacle?" Fiona shook her head, "Eli, Imogen didn't charge Clare double for one cup of coffee. She ruined her entire social life, broke her heart and then tried to kill her. I'd call that more than a debacle."

"Call it what you want," Eli shrugged back, "After that night, my mind was made up. I can't give up on Clare. She didn't give up on me, when I told her we should just be friends."

"I'm the only one that knows you and Clare kissed that night, aren't I?" Fiona asked suddenly.

"Probably," Eli replied, "I mean, I'm sure Clare told Alli, maybe even Adam. I'm surprised she didn't tell you."

"I don't know, Clare and I don't talk that much anymore," Fiona seemed slightly saddened, "We haven't spent much time together, in months. I think she has a problem being around alcohol."

"Or maybe she has a problem with people who actually have a problem with alcohol," Eli shot back. "I'm talking about you," he added.

"I got your little subtle dig," Fiona rolled her eyes. "Look, it's not that I have a problem with alcohol... Alcohol has a problem with me. It can't stay away. Look, the way I see it, I'm young, free, single. Why shouldn't I have some fun once in a while? After my youth, it's work, consume, die."

Eli stopped Fiona walking any further and turned to face her. "Fiona, the girl you liked turned out to be a raging psychopath. It's okay not to be okay. It's not okay to drown your emotions at the bottom of a bottle, trust me. My dad did, and it got him homeless, bankrupt and in the Navy. If that's not a life lesson, I don't know what is."

Fiona reached out and tugged at Eli's cheeks like he was a baby. "Thank you for that after school special Mr Goldsworthy," she ruffled his hair playing, adding thoughtfully, "Hey, you think us making out would get Clare jealous?"

"Probably not," Eli rubbed his cheeks, wincing. "That really hurt, Fiona."

"Shut up, you big baby."

"Alcoholic."

"Emo."

**oOo**

Clare was sitting the media lab, going over the first edit of the newspaper for her first senior edition, when Wesley came traipsing over to her, carrying a wrapped box. He shuffled his feet awkwardly, holding it out to her. "Clare," he said, "This is for you."

Clare raised her eyebrow at the sight of the wrapped box with the giant pink bow on it. "Oh Wesley, I'm flattered, but—"

"It's not from me," Wesley interrupted her, "It was in the mail room. Simpson put me on mail duty because I called Miss Oh hot, once," he shrugged and pushed it into her hands. "Maybe it's from Eli."

Clare took the box from him, glaring, "Or maybe it's not," she said sharply.

Wesley gave her a weird look and walked away. Clare muttered to herself, "This better not be from Eli," she placed the box on her table and unwrapped the bow. Pushing it aside, she slowly opened the lid and peered inside.

Lying inside, was a delicate porcelain doll, hair braided, wearing a pretty pink dress. Clare frowned, picked up the doll and noticed the note behind it. It said;

_Good luck on your first day back,_

_A friend._

"A friend?" Clare mumbled to herself. She turned the doll over and noticed a circular plastic ring on the doll's back. Intrigued, Clare pulled the plastic ring towards her, pulling out string as she did so. The doll's arms began to move as the string slid back inside the doll. Just before the string disappeared completely inside the doll, a creepy high pitched voice began to emanate from the porcelain body.

"I dare you to have a good day! I dare you to have a good day! I dare you to have a good day!"

Clare dropped the doll abruptly back into the box and slammed the lid over it. She let out a gasp of air and clutched the ends of the table. She realised, horribly, that it didn't matter if she tried to move past the events of the last eight months. This would never, ever end until somebody ended it.

And Clare would rather it be her that ended it, than anyone else.

"Clare, you look like you've seen a ghost," Connor commented as he handed a sheet of paper towards Clare.

She looked at him blankly.

"The new school rules," Connor informed her, "You wanted the list for the newspaper?" he waved the sheet of paper in front of her face.

"Right," Clare grabbed the list. "Thanks."

"Cool box," Connor pointed to it, "Secret admirer?"

"Something like that," Clare muttered darkly.

"I gotta say, Clare, you've really changed, for the better," Connor said lightly, "I don't remember the last time I've seen you smile."

"Me either," Clare smiled at him slightly.

"Nobody would blame you if you didn't ever," Connor replied. "Not many people can say they've lived through attempted murder."

"Probably not true," Clare tilted her head slightly.

"You know what I mean," Connor settled down beside her, "Imogen had us all fooled. Can you imagine what was really going on in that head of hers? I'm surprised she didn't already have a therapist or something."

Clare shrugged.

"Being that kind of crazy," Connor continued, "You've really got to let that out, somehow, haven't you? It's weird though, that nobody noticed her lack of mental facilities until she tried to kill you."

"People deceive all the time," Clare sighed sadly. "We only see what people want us to see."

"Still, there would have to be some kind of warning signs, though. You can't be that whacko and not have anything in your past that points to that direction. Like serial killers, they're supposed to start off hurting animals. I wonder if anyone really noticed Imogen, when she wasn't being all weird and shit," Connor added.

Clare suddenly frowned. "Wait, repeat that".

"She was weird?" Connor frowned.

"No, the bit about warning signs," Clare grabbed his arm and pulled him up excitedly. "Oh my god, Connor. You're a genius!"

"I know," Connor smiled bashfully, "Wait, why am I a genius?"

"Because, you're so right. There _has_ to be some kind of warning signals," Clare rambled, her eyes glowing. "Maybe Imogen _was_ seeing a therapist and if she was, that would have to be record somewhere, right? Like in the school records?"

"Uh—" Connor began.

Clare interrupted him, "Or maybe the _real_ person behind all this has some kind of weird dark secret. Maybe they've gone to see a therapist. Or maybe they've lost it and went off the deep end at some point in their lives. That would _have_ to be on record, right?"

"A police record, probably. Wait, what do you mean by real person behind all this?" Connor frowned.

"Imogen was murdered, Connor. You do the Math," Clare said.

"So you think whoever killed Imogen was behind the attempt on you?" Connor asked theoretically, "That's quite plausible."

Clare's eyes brightened, "I have to get into the school records. If I can find anything weird on there about anyone, and link them to Imogen, then maybe I can finally put this to bed and have a real night's sleep for a change."

Connor seemed skeptical, "That's a really big long shot, Clare."

"Well, it's the only shot I've got," Clare shrugged back. "Unless you know how to trace an anonymous text message?"

Connor shook his head sadly.

"But you would know how to get into the school's system, wouldn't you?" Clare asked suddenly. "Like school records?"

"Oh no!" Connor backed away, shaking his head. "No! No way! No, Clare! Clare, no! Absolutely not! Definitely—no! Absolutely—I'm too young and too pretty for jail, they'll eat me alive in there—Nope, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!"

Clare stared at him, opened the lid and chucked the porcelain doll into Connor's arms. "Pull the string," she told him.

Connor hesitantly pulled the string and listened to the creepy doll.

"I dare you to have a good day! I dare you to have a good day! I dare you to have a good day!"

"What the—" Connor started.

"I keep getting things like that," Clare looked away, "At first, it's anonymous text messages, taunting me. Then it's eerie restricted phone calls with breathing down the other end of the line. Now it's creepy china dolls, daring me to have a good day. It's only me getting these, Connor. And it's never going to stop unless you help me. So please. Help me."

Connor glanced down to the porcelain doll and sighed. He threw the doll back into the box and said, "I'm going to need a few days, at least. I won't be able to break in through the front door of the security system, so I'll need a couple days to get around that."

"A back-door entrance?" Clare asked.

"Yes," Connor nodded back, "Precisely. If I can't find one, I'll need to create one myself. That might take longer."

"Thank you, thank you, thank you!" Clare cried, "Text me and let me know how it goes."

"This has to be just between us," Connor stressed to Clare, "I don't want Simpson to find out I'm trying to break into his records. I live with him, it's going to be awful enough, breaking his trust, under his own roof."

"I'm sorry, Connor," Clare reached out to hug Connor tentatively, "But thank you. You have no idea how much this means to me."

**oOo**

"I was fifteen minutes late to my first class," Fiona said to Eli casually as they walked out of the Induction presentation all Freshmen attended throughout their arrival in the first week.

"And the lecturer wasn't annoyed?" Eli asked, frowning.

"I don't think so," Fiona replied, "She even told me to call her Veronica. Her first name. How weird is that?"

"That's college for you," Eli sighed wistfully.

"You want to call her, don't you?" Fiona asked suddenly.

Eli snapped defensively, "No."

"I'm sure Clare's fine," Fiona added, "She'll be with Alli, or Adam."

"I know," Eli nodded, "But at the end of the day, Fi, Clare's right. Imogen didn't kill herself. She was murdered. And that someone is probably the true Dare Overlord, right? And whoever that is... Is still out there. Still harassing Clare."

"And people ask me why I feel the need to drink," Fiona muttered.

"Fiona."

"Look Eli, I'm sorry okay but that Graduation night? When you and Clare kissed? That made you realise you weren't ready to give up."

"So?"

"So, it was the opposite for Clare. That basically proved to her that she had to move on."

"How would you know—"

"Has she confessed her feelings for you in the last two months?"

Eli shook his head, "No."

"Well, there you go," Fiona looked at him sadly, "Eli, I'm a girl, I know these kinds of things. To you, that was a hello kiss. To Clare, it was a goodbye kiss."

"I don't believe it," Eli shook his head again.

"You don't believe it?" Fiona questioned him, "Or you don't _want_ to believe it?"

Silence.

Fiona added, "Look, you want my advice, Eli?"

"Not particularly."

"Talk to Clare, again. Kiss her again. Hell, shove your tongue down her throat—"

"So poetic—"

"If you can't get her to feel something, then it _is_ over, Eli," Fiona finished, "And you may have to deal with that."

"What kind of a pep talk is this, exactly?" Eli glared at her.

"The realistic kind," Fiona replied. "That idiot therapist Simpson made us see two months ago was right. You spent the rest of your Senior year writing sappy tragic broken heartened plays while Clare spent her time in the clouds with the rest of the other robots. You weren't in the right place. Now you both kind of are. Clare's starting a fresh at Degrassi, and you're starting a fresh at college. It's all about timing."

"So I should go all in?" Eli asked her hesitantly.

"Yes," Fiona nodded, "Tell you what, I'll take Sav, Adam and Alli out for dinner tonight and you can have the apartment to yourself. You can talk to Clare. Properly, this time. Not some jumbled up broken down side of the road argument."

"You give quite good advice, why can't you ever take your own?" Eli muttered.

"It's not in my prerogative," Fiona shrugged back. She added, "Hey, I have a free period. Where's Sav?"

"Music's that department," Eli pointed across the TU campus. "I can't stay too long though. I've got work at the Dot soon."

"Come on, I hear the music people have the _best_ dorm parties!"

**oOo**

Clare glanced up from her position behind the counter as the door opened. It was somebody leaving. She yawned, looking around boredly. After school working at her favourite book store seemed like a dream some months ago, but it was slowly becoming a drag. Mostly because it was usually empty, all the time. She had realised some time ago that it's quietness was the reason she loved it so much.

She rapped her fingers against the counter, pursing her lips. It was sometime last month when Clare realised that she only loved visiting the empty book store when she had a book in mind. A purpose to follow. She hated it here, when she was just _sitting_ here, waiting for a purpose, a reason to be busy again. That's when her mind started to wander, into dark, haunted places that she dared never to venture towards.

The store's owner Ralph came bustling out from the back room, carrying two large bags. "You can go home early, Clare. I'm closing up shop for the night. It's my wife's sister's engagement party."

"Fantastic," Clare didn't mean to sound too happy about that. She grabbed her jacket and bag, waved goodbye to Ralph and stepped out, just at the same time as rain began to pour down heavily on her. "Fantastic," Clare repeated, except this time she was less than thrilled.

She had planned on walking home, but the rain gave her the perfect excuse to get the bus. Twenty five minutes later, she was standing outside her apartment building, staring at the wrecked Morty. Eli had just left it there, and had done for months. She wondered why. Was it to inflict guilt on her? Or to be reminded of the time they both almost died?

She frankly, hated it.

"You guys better have cleaned up!" were Clare's welcoming words as she opened her apartment door. Eli glanced over to her from sitting at the kitchen counter. Clare looked around, confused. "Where is everyone?" she asked Eli, stepping inside and shrugging off her wet jacket.

"Out somewhere, I guess. Errands, food runs, music stores," Eli shrugged back. "Did you finish work early?"

"Half day," Clare nodded awkwardly, "The store was quiet. Did you take a day off the Dot?"

"They changed my shifts to accommodate my college classes," Eli answered. Clare blushed under his gaze. He was wearing one of his simple band tees, and his messy black hair was as sexy as ever. Clare internally smacked herself. Even after all this time. One look at Eli and she was weak at the knees, desperate to be back in his heart.

"Well," Clare straightened. She turned and headed towards her bedroom.

"Wait, Clare," Eli stood up, "I made enough pie for forty. Do you want some?"

Clare kept her back to him, holding her breath.

"Or not," Eli added, shaking his head. "It's fine."

Everything was most certainly not fine.

Clare spun around, unsure, "Sure, why not? I could... love pie as much as the next person." She hated how unsure she sounded around him. Eli sat back down at the kitchen counter and Clare walked towards him, taking a seat opposite him.

Eli brought out another plate, scooped a slice of pie on it and pushed it across the table towards Clare. There was an awkward silence, then Clare asked, "How was your first day at TU?"

"Amazing," Eli couldn't stop himself from grinning widely, "It was great."

"Good," Clare smiled back, a real genuine smile that radiated easily from her face, lighting her eyes.

"And Degrassi?" Eli asked, "First day of Senior year? How's it treating you?"

Clare suddenly looked down, the smile ripped from her face, "It was fine," her throat tightened.

"Clare," Eli frowned, "I'm sorry, did I say something wrong?"

"No," Clare dropped her fork onto her plate with a loud clatter. "No it's not you," she pushed the plate away and shook her head.

Eli played with his food for a while before adding, "Look, I know things have been awkward with us, but I was your friend first, Clare, remember that? All those car talks? And take outs? And sneaking into weird strip clubs. You can talk to me, you know that, right? I know it's been horrible lately, but we can go back to that, if you want."

Clare looked at him hesitantly, "Go back to that? Like, being friends?"

Eli tried to hide his disappointment. "Is that what you want?"

"Is that what you want?" Clare fired back at him.

Eli inhaled deeply, "I want you in my life, Clare. If we can't go back to being how we used to, we might as well be... friends."

"Friends," Clare digested the word. That sounded... unusual. But it was worth it, right? If she couldn't let Eli back in her heart, she could let him back in her life, right? Not being around him was worse. She missed him terribly.

"Friends," Eli nodded, "I'm here to listen, if you want."

Clare hesitated before saying, "Someone sent me a doll today."

Eli cocked his eyebrow, "A doll?"

"I left it in my locker," Clare said, "But yes, a china doll, a porcelain doll. With braids and a pink dress and a weird string pully voice. Daring me to have a good day."

Eli paled. "Wow, that's creepy."

"It's starting again, not that it ever stopped," Clare ran a hand through her messy curls, "Can't you feel it, Eli?"

"Feel what?"

"Someone is watching us. Our every move. Calling my cell phone, sending me creepy gifts," Clare replied, "Whoever killed Imogen is still out there, to get me, and I know I sound paranoid but it's only paranoia if someone's imagining it, and I'm _not_."

"Trust me, I believe you," Eli said, "I've been so worried about you, you have no idea. I even phoned the police last month, to see if they'd found anything in Imogen's case."

"And?" Clare's eyes widened.

"They couldn't give me any details," Eli said sadly, "Confidentiality and all that."

"That therapist, Nina Henderson," Clare said suddenly, "She wants to see me. Requested me in Homeroom, but I dodged her all day."

"Might be a good idea," Eli said slowly, "Talking about your emotions and letting it all out."

"What, are you scared I'll be the one turning into a psychopath next?" Clare joked but it came out stale and dry.

"If either one of us is going to lose our minds, it'll probably be me," Eli replied, smiling slightly.

"Seconded," Clare laughed back and Eli joined in.

All of a sudden, the lights in the apartment blew and Clare and Eli were left in darkness. "What the—" Clare shrieked, jumping up.

"It'll be the circuit breaker," Eli stood up as well, staring through the darkness to see the outline of Clare.

"Okay," Clare tried to rationalize her frantic mind, "That'll be in the basement, won't it?"

"Probably," Eli fished around the bottom cupboard and brought out two torches, giving one to Clare. "We should go down and check it out. We might bump into people doing the same thing."

"Our neighbours?" Clare whispered, "Heaven forbid. They hate us. The lesbian, the hearse owner, the neurotic Agnostic and the composer who plays music to all hours in the night."

"Not to mention the awkward boy and the loud girl who never seem to leave this place," Eli muttered under his breath.

They both stumbled towards the front door, the lights from the torches moving about the darkened room. Clare's heart thudded in her chest. Eli held his breath. They opened the front door, stepping out onto the darkened landing. The whole building was out.

Clare and Eli managed down the stairs, awkwardly bumping into each other's arms as they did so. They reached the ground floor and headed towards the basement, taking another set of stairs down. Clare lost her footing and Eli reached out to steady her.

"Are you okay?" Eli whispered, throat tightening at their close proximity.

Clare looked down, recognising the intense atmosphere. This felt familiar.

"Thanks," Clare leaned towards the wall. She pointed her torch forwards, "Are we there yet?"

Eli moved his head forwards as well, "Almost. Another flight down and we're there."

"Into the mouth of hell," Clare muttered to herself as they finally reached the basement.

"Someone's been reading Shakespeare before bed," Eli replied.

"I deny nothing," Clare stayed closely behind Eli as they ventured into the dusty, dark, basement that doubled as a storing unit for the apartment's occupants.

Eli located the circuit breaker at the other side of the basement with his torch and pointed it out to Clare. Just as they were about to make their way towards it, a clang from behind them made Clare jump forwards, right into Eli's arms, both dropping their torches.

"Clare," Eli gasped, inches away from her lips.

He would have kissed her actually, had the sound of foreign footsteps not indicated that they were in fact, in the basement, in the dark, with someone else.


	3. Locked Hearts and Hand Grenades

**A/N:** Hello! Review, review, review? :)

* * *

**KILL ME, NOT**

**Chapter Two:**

"**Locked Hearts and Hand Grenades"**

**oOo**

Footsteps scrambled about, and Clare grabbed Eli's wrist. Noises clattered everywhere in the dark basement and the dropped torches had gone out completely, both broken. Clare and Eli stumbled backwards, unable to determine whether the violent noises meant the footsteps were coming their way. The outline of a dark figure could be seen in the distance and Clare couldn't help but scream. There was more muffled noises and then silence. The only thing that could be heard was Clare and Eli's rapid, violent breaths.

"They left," Eli realised. "Clare, I think they left."

"You _think_?" Clare whispered, "Who was that?"

"I don't know," Eli took his phone out of the pocket and shined the screen brightness towards the other end of the basement. He took Clare's hand, led her over to the circuit breaker and stared. The switch had been brought down, on purpose. Eli flipped the switch back up and two seconds later, the lights flickered back on and they could see again.

Clare noticed their proximity and pulled herself away as she and Eli tried to compose themselves awkwardly. They glanced around the brightened basement. The empty, brightened basement. Whoever was in with them minutes ago, was gone now.

"The lights were turned off, on purpose," Clare said suddenly, "Who would do that?"

"I'm guessing the lovely basement stranger we just ran into," Eli mumbled back, "Either they waited until we came down, to strike, or they were planning on coming up and getting us in the dark."

"They? Us?" Clare looked at him, "Do you really think that was the Dare Overlord? We were just yards away from him, her, they. Do you really think that?"

"From what you told me," Eli began, "I can't think of another explanation."

"I feel like I'm going to vomit," Clare gripped her stomach.

"Bad pie?" Eli grimaced apologetically.

"Bad day," Clare corrected him. She gathered the fallen torches and said, "Come on. Let's get out of here, before whoever was down here decides to come back."

"Maybe we should phone the police," Eli followed her out of the basement.

"And get laughed at?" Clare answered, "No point. We don't have any proof, we don't even have a suspect anymore. Imogen's dead, unless her ghost is somehow still wandering the earth, trying to finish me, or maybe she's trying to warn me, like that weird Korean horror film Alli made me watch last weekend. Absolutely ridiculous."

"Less of the horror films and more of the locked doors," Eli muttered.

**oOo**

**The Next Day**

Fiona walked into the Dot with a bounce in her step. She slammed her books, bag and jacket in the window view table and stalked over to the counter with a smile on her face. Eli turned around, smiling annoyedly when he saw Fiona's face.

"And what can I get you today m'am?" Eli asked, picking up a disposable cup, "To go?" he asked.

"Sitting in," Fiona rapped her fingers against the counter, "You can get me an explanation for leaving early this morning and not walking me to class. And also, a mocha cinnamon latte with a sugar doughnut and a slice of cherry pie."

Eli shot her a look as he got to work on her order. "I left early because I wanted a jog. You know, a jog. People can run Fiona, except you. That's why I didn't wait."

"And last night?" Fiona continued, "I come home and Clare tells me you've gone to bed, early. You're avoiding me. What happened last night? Was it awful? Did Clare reject you? Laugh in your face? Ruffle your hair? Vomit? Come on, give me something!"

"Why aren't you in college or something?" Eli ignored her questions.

"I only had one class today," Fiona replied, "I love college. It's like the pic and mix of academic achievement. Now tell me what happened. Clare looked really shaken up last night. You two didn't try anything you need intense practice for, did you? Did she have Beef Curtain? Did you try Snowballing? Cream Pie? Lemon squeeze? Cowbell?"

"You're gross," Eli said, annoyed, "I don't even know what those mean."

"Urban dictionary," Fiona shrugged back, "I thought having sex was enough. For this generation, apparently not."

"One mocha cinnamon latte with a sugar doughnut and a slice of cherry pie," Eli pushed the cup of coffee and plate towards across the counter, "That's $9.56."

"Put it on my tab," Fiona replied. "Now tell me what happened."

"It's actually my tab," Eli corrected her. "Fine. I tried talking to Clare, she didn't want to go back there, she proposed we be... friends. So there. That's what we're being now. Friends."

"That sucks," Fiona grimaced. "Did you make your home-made pie?"

Eli nodded, "Apparently my grandmother's recipe wasn't enough to sway her back," he paused, "And something else happened... Something weird. The apartment had a power cut, before you came back. Only when Clare and I went down into the basement, someone had pulled down the circuit breaker, deliberately. And there was someone else in the basement with us. They made a lot of noise and then left."

Fiona paled. "Oh my god. Really?" she shivered and then whispered, "What the hell?"

"I don't know," Eli shook his head, "But it seriously freaked us out. Someone sent Clare a creepy doll yesterday. It talked and everything."

Fiona let out an unsure breath, "_Seriously_? Did she call the police?"

"Waste of time, apparently," Eli replied, "It's getting worse, Fiona," he glanced behind and saw a gathering queue. "Now go, I've got people to serve."

Fiona rolled her eyes, "You love company, just admit it. I'm awesome."

Eli frowned, "Aren't you supposed to be at work or something?"

Fiona suddenly gaped, horrified, "Oh, shit!"

She darted back towards her things, grabbed them and ran out of the Dot faster than normal, nearly knocking down customers on her way.

**oOo**

"Connor," Clare said sweetly as she fell into line with the taller boy.

"Clare," Connor replied, giving her a knowing look. He gestured his head to the right and they snuck into an empty classroom, closing the door. Connor started with, "I'm working on it. Almost in, but not yet. It's difficult, Simpson changes the password every three days."

"If you get anything, let me know," Clare opened the classroom door, "Thank you." She spied Adam across the hallway, talking to a tall leggy blonde and decided to interrupt them in need of her best friend.

"Adam!" Clare cried, linking their arms together, "Walk me to class?"

"Sure," Adam looked slightly annoyed. "Clare, this is Becky Baker. She's new here, from Florida."

"Pleasure to meet you," Becky grinned.

"Same," Clare tried not to judge the new girl too much.

"I'll talk to you later, Adam," Becky smiled sweetly, walking off.

"I hate you," Adam groaned.

"You'd rather talk to miss supermodel than your own best friend?" Clare asked sarcastically.

"Who's a supermodel?" Alli joined the conversation.

"Becky Baker," Adam said dreamily. "She's tall, beautiful, blonde."

"Christian," Alli added, "She's in my Math class, and she's super annoying."

Clare was about to reply when her phone rang in her pocket. "Hello?" she answered, wondering if the Dare Overlord was going to be on the other end of the phone, her stomach jolting horrible.

"_Hi, is this Clare Edwards?"_

"This is she, can I ask who's calling?"

"_My name's Shirley. I saw your post about Imogen Moreno on Yahoo's forum board. I'm calling from Buddha Burger, it's a vegetarian joint in Feat Street. Imogen used to work here and she has a locker full of things that her parents didn't collect. If you want them you can have them."_

Clare's eyes widened, "Oh my god, really?"

"_Sure. Just drop by and say you spoke to Shirley about it."_

"Oh my, thank you, thank you so much," Clare hung up and looked into the curious eyes of Adam and Alli. She added, "So, anyone up for a veggie burger at lunch?"

**oOo**

Clare, Alli and Adam walked along Feat Street, looking for _Buddha Burger_ when the conversation suddenly turned to deal breakers.

"If he's thirty five and still lives with his mom," Alli said, "Deal breaker. If he has a tramp stamp; deal breaker. If he has grey pubes; deal breaker."

"If she smokes; deal breaker," Adam added.

"If she's secretly a psycho; deal breaker," Clare said, and they both turned to stare at her. Clare shrugged, "Sorry. Oh look!" she pointed across the road and saw the burger joint Imogen used to work in, "That's it."

"I'm getting a bad feeling about this," Adam mumbled horribly.

"Me too," Alli mumbled back, "What's the point in a burger if it's not a burger?"

"Vegetarians are people too," Clare said as they all walked into the meat free restaurant. Alli and Adam hung back and Clare walked over to the counter, to where a curly redhead was wiping a plate, "Excuse me? I got a call from Shirley today. Told me I could come and collect Imogen Moreno's things."

"I'm Shirley," the curly redhead put down the plate and gestured for Clare to slip round the counter and follow her.

"I brought some friends," Clare said to her, "Is that okay?"

"That's fine," Shirley led them through the back room to where a set a lockers was pressed up against the wall. The room stank of meat, surprisingly enough.

"Did you know Imogen well then?" Clare asked.

"Didn't know anything about her," Shirley shrugged, "She kept to herself, really. Only ever spoke about this sweet little thing that went to her school. Oh she was in love, she was. Rambled endlessly about true happiness and the meaning of love."

Clare's stomach clenched. She hated it whenever she remembered the fact that Imogen obsessed over Eli.

"It's locker 19," Shirley said, "I opened it earlier. Feel free to take what you want, and throw the rest out."

"Thanks," Clare waited until Shirley had disappeared before she marched over to the locker and opened it. Alli and Adam crammed behind her.

If Clare expected to find a body in there, she was mistaken. She saw two hanging jumpers, a pile of magazines, a box of CD's and an old packet of chewing gum.

"That was exciting," Adam said boredly.

Clare sat on the floor and picked up Imogen's things. "Go through everything with a fine comb," she said to Alli and Adam, who sat down next to her.

"Well, she had good taste in fashion," Alli said as she browsed the magazine covers.

"No, she didn't," Adam argued, "Imogen looked like a riot most of the time. An escapee from a circus act."

Clare frowned and looked at the magazines. They were high end fashion magazines – not Imogen's taste. She picked one of them up and flicked through it. And then it dropped out suddenly, right out onto Clare's lap. A picture. Of herself. Walking down the hallway of Degrassi.

"Holy shit," Alli whispered.

Adam reached over, picked up another magazine and flapped it about. Out popped another picture of Clare. And another one. And another one. And another one. The piles of magazines were actually hiding places – for pictures of Clare.

Clare held her breath. "Some of these are from ages ago, over a year. She tracked me. Followed me. Going to church, going to school, visiting my dad—" she stopped abruptly when her eyes found one that turned her blood cold. She picked up a fallen picture and stared at it.

"What is it?" Adam asked.

Clare flipped the picture over. A picture of her and Eli, resting on the hood of his hearse, on their first date, at the drive in movie theatre.

"She's been following you the whole time," Alli said, eyes wide. "She hated you that much, she stalked you."

"She's been with me for everything," Clare nearly shrieked, her fingers going through the pictures, "Sitting with Eli in his hearse, going to Wendy's, entering _Sticky Ricky's_, meeting Jake in the middle of the street, at the Dot with you guys, outside Fiona's apartment, lunch with Fiona's godmother, moving into our place. She was documenting everything."

"Seems a bit odd," Adam said suddenly.

"A _bit_ odd?" Clare gasped, "This girl was one stick short of a lolly!"

"No, I mean it's odd her obsession was with Eli, yet she took pictures of you," Adam rushed to explain, "Think about it. If Eli's the object of her desire, why isn't she stalking him and creating a shrine to him or something weird and creepy to that effect?"

"Maybe her desire to kill Clare greatly outweighed her desire to screw Eli," Alli said.

"See if you can find anything else," Clare added.

"Everything alright in here?" Shirley asked, walking back into the room. "Oh, what lovely pictures. You must have been devastated to hear of her death."

"Not as devastated as you might think," Alli muttered.

"Why in heavens name would you think that?" Clare asked.

Shirley frowned, "I'm sorry if I offended. I just didn't think it would take this long for you to collect your girlfriend's things."

"What?" Clare gasped.

"The sweet little thing that went to her school?" Shirley explained, "Is that not you? You look exactly like the girl in the photo she showed me."

"Oh my god," Adam's eyes widened. "Imogen wasn't obsessed with Eli."

"She was obsessed with _you_," Alli sprung upwards.

"Sorry to interrupt," Shirley left the room again, shaking her head in confusion.

"Jesus Christ!" Clare screamed at the newest revelation.

"This all makes sense now," Alli began, "Imogen dared Fitz to scare Eli with the unloaded gun, leading him right where she would be outside, in the car. She wasn't trying to kill you, Clare. She was trying to kill Eli."

"And when Imogen said '_You just can't leave well enough alone, can you?' _she was referring to when you told Fiona and I to call an ambulance, for Eli, because she wanted him to die," Adam stood up as well, his brain cogs moving rapidly, "And when she said '_I wasn't happy with the way things were_' it didn't necessarily mean that she wanted Eli. She wanted you."

"And when she said that she wasn't the only one, it wasn't a threat. It was a warning," Alli added.

Clare's head spun. "What the hell are you trying to say? That Imogen was working with someone to split me and Eli up, but it wasn't for Eli? And why would Imogen 'warn' me about the real Dare Overlord, the real master mind? She'd have no reason to, they were in it together."

"I'm not sure," Adam bit his lip, "But you heard that woman. She said Imogen talked about you, like you were her girlfriend. And these pictures prove it."

"Bitch crazy, but it doesn't all have to make sense to us. It clearly made sense to Imogen somehow," Alli took a step back.

"But Imogen hated me," Clare shook her head, "She spat insults at me, glared at me, gave me weird creepy looks, invited me to her one woman play about death or something. I mean, she used to stare at me, for hours, in the library and in class. These really annoying, creepy looks."

"Actually, if you say it like that," Adam frowned, "It's a wonder why we didn't pick up on it sooner."

"Sometimes people are cunts to the ones they like, because they either can't handle that they like them or, being a dick to them is better than not being anything to them at all," Alli added.

"I hate people," Clare whispered to herself. "I utterly hate people."

"We should probably go," Adam collected Imogen's things and shoved them into his bag. "We should go before we miss lunch curfew."

Clare's mind was already thinking deeply by the time Adam was packed up. "I'll be right there," she told her friends. "I gotta use the toilet." She waited until Adam and Alli left the locker room, then she pulled out her phone and dialled a number. "Hey, it's me," she said when the person picked up.

_"A call from Clare Edwards. This must be bad."_

Clare smirked, slightly. "You up for doing me a little favour?"

_"What kind of favour?"_

Clare said, "The illegal kind."

**oOo**

"This is insane," Eli rubbed his eyes tiredly. He glanced around the room. Clare was sitting on the couch with Sav, and Fiona was in the kitchen making a sandwich.

"I know," Clare nodded. "I just thought you guys should know," she glanced tentatively to Fiona and then to Eli. Clare wasn't sure which was worse. Telling a person they were meant to die, or telling a person the girl they liked obsessed over someone else. Probably the first one.

"Fiona, are you okay?" Clare stood up.

"I'm fine," Fiona said, voice dry. "Why wouldn't I be? Do I care, that Imogen liked you? No, don't be silly. I'm over her. She's dead anyway." Fiona brought the kitchen knife down on the sandwich with a final thwack and made everyone jump slightly.

"Eli?" Clare turned to face him. "I'm sorry you had to find out this way."

"I'm okay," Eli shook his head slightly, "It doesn't really change anything. Imogen meaning to knock me down doesn't change the face that she did anyway. Did you happen to find anything else?"

"The box is in my room if you want to look through it," Clare suggested, "Fiona, you can as well."

"I wouldn't go near that thing, if my life depended on it," Fiona said frostily. She abruptly binned her sandwich and stormed to her bedroom, slamming her bedroom door shut.

"Awkward," Sav sighed. Clare couldn't agree more.

"Anyway," Clare picked up her jacket, "I've got a place to be. Meeting Alli for a late night showing of Fight Club. Bye," she walked out of the apartment and closed the door behind her.

Sav's phone beeped and he pulled it out of his pocket. He groaned, "Crap. Alli's just text me, I forgot another family night dinner. Mom's pissed at me. Can't they give me some slack?"

Eli frowned, "Wait, what? If Alli's having dinner with your parents, then where the hell is Clare going?"

Sav's eyes widened in confusion.

Eli cocked an eyebrow, "You ever tailed anybody before, Sav?"

**oOo**

Clare strolled into the Buddha Burger joint just before 11PM. The place was in darkness, just about to shut. She looked about, and heard footsteps come from the back room. Shirley stepped out, and frowned at the sight of Clare.

"Hi Shirley," Clare smirked, "Real name Aubrey."

Shirley/Aubrey stiffened.

"I looked on the website before I ever came here," Clare continued, "There's no Shirley's on the employee list. Only one curly redhead, by the name of Aubrey. Why did you use a fake name?"

"I like aliases, okay?" Aubrey snapped.

Clare said, "Imogen never worked here, did she? You set this up."

"I can't tell you," Aubrey took a step backwards.

The door behind Clare suddenly opened and in strolled Jake, carrying a baseball bat.

"Finally!" Clare cried at him. "I've been outside for twenty minutes."

"Sorry," Jake pulled a face, "It was raining."

"What the hell is going on here?" Aubrey's eyes caught the baseball bat in Jake's hand, "You can't hurt me. There's cameras running. They'll get your faces."

"Nope tonight they won't," Clare shrugged, "I have very smart friends who hacked into your very basic low rent security system and turned them off. You need a special code to turn them back on."

"Clever," Jake said, admiringly.

"Thank you," Clare replied smugly. "I'm here all week," she turned back to Aubrey, "Now, here's what's going to happen. You're going to tell me what the fuck is going on, or so help me God, my friend here is going to turn over this place like it's 1999."

"What happened in 1999?" Jake frowned.

"I don't know, I thought it was a saying," Clare winced.

"You can't do this!" Aubrey cried, "I'll tell the police."

"And who are they going to believe?" Clare snapped coldly, "A recovering prostitute drug addict, or an academic Senior, and her environmentally friendly step brother?" she took a step forward, "Do you really think I'm an idiot? The police would have ransacked Imogen's locker months ago, had she ever worked here in the first place! There's no way in hell they would have left pictures of me behind in there! You planted those in there, you phoned me, and you lied to me! If you don't start talking, my friend is going to ruin this place."

Tears watered in Aubrey's eyes. "They'll kill me."

"I'll kill you!" Clare cried. There a tense, silent moment and then Clare turned away and looked at Jake, "Do it."

Jake brought the bat up and started trashing the counter, the tables, the windows. Everything in sight was getting smashed, cracked, demolished or battered. Clare took a step backwards and Aubrey shrunk behind the counter.

Clare cried to Aubrey over Jake's noise, "Really sucks, doesn't it? Feeling fucking powerless while someone else takes a wrecking ball to your life? I wonder what the owner would say! You being the last one here and this place suddenly gets trashed with no real evidence or explanation! I know what the police would say! You missed a payment to one of your drug dealers and they got even by messing up your work life! How does that sound?"

"Stop!" Aubrey screamed suddenly, arms flailing, "Stop!"

Jake stopped whacking the baseball bat about and glanced at Clare with a pink flush in his cheeks.

"Someone paid me to do this, okay!" Aubrey cried, "They found my email on Craig's List and mailed me, asking me to plant all this weird stuff in a locker and tell you that Imogen used to work here and that I saw your listing on Yahoo. They sent me the money to my house, I never spoke to them, I never saw them face to face, I don't know who did this, but they threatened me to never tell a soul. I have a four year daughter. Please understand."

"And all that spiel about Imogen liking me? Telling people she was my girlfriend?" Clare asked.

"I was told to say that," Aubrey answered frantically, "I said every word, word for word. I don't know who you are, or why any of this was necessary, I swear."

"We're done here," Clare said to Jake.

"Wait!" Aubrey cried, "What about this mess?"

"What about my fucking life?" Clare snapped. "Nobody's going to fix mine. If you breathe a word to the police, I will make it my personal mission to let your one time employer – otherwise known as my psycho stalker – know that you didn't keep their dealing a secret. Understand?"

Aubrey said nothing and watched Clare and Jake leave the Buddha Burger.

Jake and Clare walked towards his car and Jake flung the baseball bat into the back as he jumped into the front. Clare got into the passenger side and closed the door with a sigh.

"Waste of time," she muttered.

Jake said, "I was surprised to get your phone call, considering..."

"Considering you told me my mother was engaged before she did and also happened to tell my mother I was going out with Eli," Clare finished for him. "That was last year, Jake. Bigger things have happened since then."

"I noticed," Jake smirked slightly. "When did you turn into such a badass?"

"I don't know," Clare murmured, "At some point, I just changed, and I can't find my way back. I don't understand any of this. It doesn't make any sense. I'm just right back at square one."

"No, you're not," Jake shook his head, "You're smart, Clare. You'll be just fine."

"Take me home, please," Clare fastened her seat-belt. "Eli will probably be wondering where I am."

**oOo**

"Can you see anything parked from here?" Sav squinted through Bullfrog's car window. He was sitting in the passenger seat, with Eli in the driver seat, parked across from a weird little restaurant called Buddha Burger.

"I saw somebody go inside that burger joint," Eli murmured. "Oh wait, look." Across the road, the restaurant door opened and Clare walked out... with... Jake?! Holding a baseball bat. Eli whispered, "What the fuck?"

Sav and Eli watched Jake and Clare walk towards Jake's jeep and get inside. They sat for a moment, talking and then Jake turned on the engine and the lights bleared ahead.

"Get down," Sav pushed Eli and himself down past the windows so they wouldn't be seen as Jake and Clare drove past.

"What the hell?" Eli raged. "Why is Clare hanging around with Jake?"

"And why did he need that baseball bat? Why did they go inside that restaurant?" Sav added.

Eli turned on the engine, drove forwards, across the road and parked outside Buddha Burger. The sight before him left him speechless.

"Holy shit," Sav stared through the car wind shield at the burger joint.

The place was completely trashed.

Clare and Jake... as Partners in Crime?


	4. Suddenly Everything Has Changed

**A/N: **I know I haven't updated in forever, don't hate me :( I think I mentioned this story would be shorter than Dare Me, Not and I expect it to be wrapped up within the next three to five chapters.

Thoughts? :) X

* * *

**KILL ME, NOT**

**Chapter Three:**

"**Suddenly Everything Has Changed"**

**oOo**

"All I'm saying is, I've done some intensive research over the last eight hours and according to recent events, Clare is doing what professionals call displacing her anger, it's a psychological term. Given all she's been through, with you, and almost getting killed and then Julia waking up and Imogen being murdered, and not to mention, all those creepy things she's been getting, it's perfectly normal for someone in her position to want to vent. Be glad she's breaking glass and plastic. Some victims with post traumatic stress disorder decide to deal with their emotions in a less than completely moral way," Sav said with crooked eyebrows, "I'm talking about murder."

Eli glanced across the kitchen counter towards Sav and shook his head. "Clare is not a psychopath. And even if she was, she wouldn't go about doing it with Jake. The guy's a douche bag. Did you see his hair? He's like your stereotypical Lumberjack Canadian guy. Clare's into progressive people. Guys that can write and actually discuss intelligent things. And anyway, Adam told me they went to Buddha Burger yesterday and they left and everything was fine. My guess is, whatever happened yesterday at that burger joint the first time is what caused Clare to go back, with Jake no less."

Sav looked unconvinced, "I still have my own theory. It's like the classic horror movie setting. Pretty traumatised girl turns psycho and kills everyone. I should know, I'm an avid horror movie fan, I've practically written and starred in my own horror movie, once or twice, but do not ask me to tell you. I promised my music camp squad I'd take their secret to the grave."

Eli looked at Sav and said, "You worry me sometimes."

"Please tell me there's coffee left," Clare's voice trailed into the kitchen and immediately Sav went stiff and Eli braced himself. She glanced at them, frowned and said, "God, what's up with you two? Feel sorry for me. I only got four hours sleep last night, and I don't know why but my neck is suddenly killing me."

"Oh don't you?" Sav narrowed his eyes, "Oh _don't_ you?"

"Sav," Eli shook his head quickly.

Clare gave them both a weird look and continued to pour herself some coffee, shaking her head. She was way too tired for Sav and Eli weirdness this morning. She had been out last night, at the Buddha Burger, trying to find answers, but she only got more questions. Jake had come in handy, which was surprising but he was into recreational violence and unlike everybody she knew, Jake wouldn't judge her for resorting to immoral tactics. Clare groaned, "I hate mornings," she looked over to Sav, who was currently mid way through a bowl of Whole Grain. Clare's Whole Grain. "Sav," she sighed, "Why can't you eat your own cereal? That's three weeks in a row you've finished mine. Come on, dude!"

Sav's eyes widened and he tensed. "Here," he quickly slid the bowl across the counter.

Clare stared at him, "I'm not going to eat your leftovers. How gross do you think I am?"

Sav narrowed his eyes, "I don't know, Clare. How you feeling today? You feeling good? Calm? In control? Non aggressive?"

Eli shook his head in his hand and internally kicked himself.

"Okay, what is going on with two?" Clare put down her cup of coffee. "You guys are being strange...er than usual and it's freaking me out. Nobody's been murdered again, have they?"

"Maybe," Sav shrugged, "If you count an innocent four year establishment serving the best—"

"Ah!" Eli suddenly screamed, just to cut Sav off. When they both looked at him, he crouched over and held his leg, "Leg cramp. Leg cramp. Leg cramp."

Clare took a breath. _Don't lose your temper_, she thought to herself, _They're probably just being weird because they're male PSM-ing. _Male PSM-ing was an actual thing. It was called Irritable Male Syndrome and it had something to do with testosterone levels. Most of the symptoms matched girl's Premenstrual Syndrome, and Clare liked to think it was God's way of karmic justice. She was half way into this thought when she realised that she honestly didn't believe in God anymore. And it made her sad.

"Clare, could you do me a favour?" Sav said lightly, opening up his folder on the counter, "I need to get these psyche surveys filled up for my class and I was just wondering if you could fill one out for me," he handed a sheet of paper to Clare and waited.

Eli stared.

Clare said, "I didn't know you took Psychology at TU," she frowned at him.

"Right, yeah," Sav nodded continuously, looking at Eli for help. When Eli made it clear he wasn't going to help Sav fabricate a well convincing lie, Sav continued, "It's for my friend, this new girl I met. And I offered to help her, because she's hot. I mean, I would have helped her anyway if she hadn't been hot, but she is, and I like her and I want her to like me back, which is why I offered to help. I'm helping. Good Samaritan, that's me. She's a lovely girl, you'd like her. I can call her if you want, you two could meet up for lunch, bond over all that girly talk you... talk about—"

"Dear lord, stop," Eli shook his head.

Clare folded up the psyche evaluation and walked away with saying a word. She grabbed her school bag and left the apartment, leaving her cup of coffee on the door side table.

"Holy crap," Eli said the moment Clare was gone, "You would not do well in torture."

"I couldn't think!" Sav defended himself, "Once I began to talk, I almost couldn't stop myself. If Clare wants to meet up with this girl, I'll need to hire an actress!"

Eli rolled his eyes, "Well, I honestly don't think Clare will, not after your weird stalker speech. What was that psyche evaluation you gave her?"

"I got it from the internet," Sav smiled coolly, "It's supposed to determine whether a person's more likely to snap or not. Go serial killer or not. It's really quite cool."

"And what's going to happen when Clare finds out she's the only one who did the test?" Eli said, "You don't think she's going to suspect something?"

Sav's eyes widened, "Oh my god, you're right. She's probably already onto me. As we very speak, she's probably concocting up a plan to kill me and make my death look like an accident. I have to make copies of that evaluation and give them to everyone I meet. Right away!" Sav grabbed his folder and ran back to his room.

"Alright man, you stay sane!" Eli called after him, "Don't forget about your classes!"

Fiona, who had passed Sav in the hallway, groaned and made her way towards one of the kitchen counter seats. "What's up with him?"

"He thinks Clare's a psychopath, apparently," Eli shrugged.

Fiona snorted, "She probably is," she paused and then said, "Adam, Clare and Alli went to some restaurant yesterday and they didn't invite me. Does Clare hate me or something? Like really? What I did do to get left out of the group?"

"You smell like vodka," Eli stared at her, "Were you drinking again?"

"No," Fiona barked defensively but then she looked down and mumbled. "Yes."

"Oh god, Fiona, you have sick in your hair," Eli backed away from her. "Go and take a shower woman!"

"Urgh, what's the point?" Fiona stood up, "We're all going to die one day anyway."

"Wow," Eli grinned to himself.

"What?" Fiona snapped.

"It's just... I never thought I'd be the normal roommate of this apartment," Eli slung his bag over his shoulder.

Fiona hiccuped.

**oOo**

"...maybe he needs to talk to someone, he was being weird this morning."

Alli looked at Clare and replied, "Clare, it's Sav. He's always been weird. He's like his trademark or something. Being unique or weird or funky, I don't know. He's quiet, loud, weird, musically gifted and most likely to win a game at Chess. In my family, that's a blessing, not a curse."

Clare shrugged and then said, "Hey, have you seen Adam this morning? I called him on my way to school but he didn't pick up."

"Adam is never where you want him to be," Alli shrugged back, "Haven't you noticed lately? He's always shaky, or jittery or wanting to move about, or always taking breaks in the bathroom. I'd say we need to host an intervention."

"For what?"

"His problem is obvious," Alli linked their arms together, "Adam's developed bulimia. Boys get it too. He's nearly anorexic skinny and he's stopped eating lately. I offered him my sandwich one time and he refused."

Clare looked at her best friend with absurdity. "Seriously Alli, you should become a counsellor."

"I can't tell if that's sarcasm," Alli pondered, "But I'll take it none the less."

"Hey Clare!" Connor cried, running up to them.

"See ya!" Alli went off another way and Connor fell perfectly into line with Clare.

"Hey Connor," Clare smiled, "Did you get anywhere with the back door entrance in the school database?"

Connor nodded discreetly, "It wasn't as hard as I thought it'd be. Come by my place tonight at eleven. I can order pizza and we can go through it together."

"Fantastic!" Clare cried, "You're a life saver, Connor."

Connor trotted off and Clare walked further down the hall. Just as she turned the corner, she spied Adam by his locker, looking shaky and... shady. Clare dived back around the corner, shielding her body from sight and peeking around the edge. Adam opened his locker door and discreetly pulled out an orange pill subscription bottle. Clare's eyes widened as she watched a shaky Adam opened the lid and down it like it was juice.

Adam was doing pills? _Drugs_? Cocaine? Meth? Did Meth in pill form even exist? Probably. Maybe Alli was right. Adam did need an intervention, just not for bulimia. Was Adam addicted to medication? That would explain a lot of things. Cold turkey from a pill addiction often resulted in strange outbursts, shakes, feeling sick, sweating, acting odd or mood swings. Clare suddenly felt horrible. Why hadn't she seen that sooner? Adam was her best friend.

The bell for home room rang again and Clare reluctantly carried on her journey, heading for her classroom. She was half way there, when the school counsellor, Nina Henderson stepped in front of her. Nina Henderson had been the counsellor to talk to the group two months ago, when there was nothing to be done. However, not all of the group had left this year and Nina was hell bent on getting her hands on the group; individually.

"No," Clare said instinctively.

Nina smiled slightly "Come on, Clare. You know you want to talk. Look, I'm trying to be nice here, but if you don't corporate, I'll be forced to write you a slip for mandatory therapy and if you don't attend, you'll fail Senior year and have to repeat it."

Clare narrowed her eyes, "You're lying."

"Am I?" Nina raised her eyebrow, "Am I really?"

"Yes," Clare said defiantly.

Nina pulled a pink slip from her pocket and scribbled something on it with her black ink pen. She handed it to Clare and said, "Mandatory Therapy. This afternoon." She clicked her fingers and marched off.

Clare groaned and stared down at the pink slip. She had already decided: Mandatory Therapy sucked.

**oOo**

Nina blinked across the quiet space and stared at Clare, who was staring back with a cool resolve of silence and a no-nonsence glare. The clock in the background ticked by slowly and Clare wished she was in class more than anything. It seemed that Nina herself could use a couple of therapy sessions. She had puffy eyes, smudged lip-gloss and two day old hair. Either Nina was having a long lasting affair with a member of the school faculty, or, Nina was nursing a hangover, probably due to some unresolved past emotional issues; for example (a break up, family resentments or bouts of mental illness).

Nina uncrossed her legs, "Let's start with something simple, Clare. How are you?"

Clare resisted the urge to roll her eyes in spite of herself. She said, "I'm swell. How are you?"

"Not feeling particularly well but that's my business," Nina opened her diary, "Now, the last time I saw you, you were just about to begin summer, isn't that right? And how did that go?"

"Well it was two months of avoiding my mother's phone calls and changing my door locks every two weeks," Clare said breezily. "I don't really see how that relates to anything."

"Clare," Nina said softly, "You don't have to pretend that you aren't coping, I understand. Imogen tried to kill you and then she herself was killed. It's perfectly understandable that you'd be experiencing some kind of post traumatic stress syndrome. Maybe it's in the form of night terrors, or insomnia, or panic attacks or—"

"Hypervigilence," Clare cut her off, "A state of complete and total awareness. The sufferer physically and mentally can't relax. They're obsessed with danger and anticipating the next threat."

Nina smiled knowingly, "Hypervigilence. Are you experiencing the symptoms? When did it start?"

"About seven months ago," Clare swallowed, her throat dry. She hadn't planned on divulging anything to the school certified psychologist but looking at Nina trying to figure out what was wrong with Clare was making Clare feel like she was crazy. The funny thing was, even though Clare knew she had a problem, it didn't stop the cause of the problem. She couldn't relax and worse, she was beginning to lose the last memory she had where she was actually content.

Before Imogen.

Before Eli.

Before the Dare Overlord.

Before everything.

"Have you talked to your Doctor about taking some anti-anxiety pills?" Nina asked, "They work wonders."

Clare tensed, thinking briefly back to seeing Adam and that bottle of medication in his hand earlier that day. Ever since... everything, Clare had developed a slightly obsessive personality. Maybe taking medication wasn't the best option at the moment. She shook her head at Nina and waited. Forty five minutes until she was free.

A silence grew that Clare longed to fill, so she asked, "In your opinion, what was wrong with Imogen?"

Nina's eyebrow's raised, "Wrong with Imogen?"

Clare struggled to rephrase her question, "Well... She tried to kill me, she stalked me and Eli and she made the Dare Overlord into some horrible evil thing. There had to have been something wrong with her. People don't act like that because they're sane, right?"

Nina frowned, "It's hard to say, Clare. Something people can display all the symptoms of being mentally ill but when they get round to being tested, they're as sane as you and I. Some people are internally mentally ill, which means they hide their problems and only a brain scan might be able to diagnose a mental illness. Other times, mental illnesses can be caused by grief, tumours, chemical imbalances. I can't tell you for certain what was wrong with Imogen. I'm a psychologist, not a psychiatrist."

Clare nodded. "Sometimes I think people are just bad," she swallowed heavily.

Nina nodded back, "Perhaps. Imogen certainly had an obsessive tendency. One might pinpoint her selfishness and lack of regard for others to the fact that she was an only child, used to getting her own way. When she didn't get Eli, perhaps she manifested, into something that she didn't need to feel sorry for."

Nina continued, "I don't know for certain, but people have told me about Imogen, since her death. She was lonely, apparently. She had no friends and her family struggled to connect with her. Maybe all she was really looking for was a crutch, something to draw all her energy into. People who are openly rude are usually mentally weak and use their fake confidence as a way to shield themselves from the world. Your theory about a second person – the mastermind – might have some gravity given Imogen's mentality. Perhaps she was seeking a friend, a person who could tell her what to do."

Clare sighed, her mind reeling and spinning with more information that she probably already knew. She said, "I just feel like high school shouldn't be this hard. It's shaping up to be one of the worst years and that's really saying something. You should have been here last year."

Nina closed her diary over, "I'll take your word for it."

**oOo**

Clare walked through the hallways, heading specifically for her locker. Students busied by her and she shuffled through, eventually reaching her destination. She typed in her combination and opened her locker door. Just as she was about to shove her books inside, something made her drop them instead. There was a black and white picture lying inside her locker; of Eli and Julia. They were walking by a pond in Red Field Park, feeding the ducks and enjoying general banter. Trying to swallow the pain of seeing her ex with his ex, Clare pushed back that lump in her throat and tried to think properly.

Someone put this in her locker, intentionally for her to find it. Obviously to cause her mental and emotional pain of course. Clare picked up her books, slammed her locker door shut, shoved the black and white picture instead her pocket jeans and headed for the media lab where she was supposed to be meeting Alli.

It wasn't just her being follow and stalked. It was also Eli. Hell, it could have been half the group being stalked as well. They'd never know. They'd never know until the culprit wanted them to know.

Wesley was standing by a computer when Clare entered. She asked him quickly, "Have you seen Alli?"

Wesley shook his head, "Sorry Clare, no. But you know Alli, she's probably running late."

Clare nodded, taking a deep breath.

Wesley frowned and asked, "Are you okay? You look a little flustered, like that crazy picture of—"

"I'm not crazy," Clare snapped at him.

"O-okay," Wesley took a step backwards. He stumbled a bit more and then headed off towards the other end of the media lab.

"I am not crazy," Clare said to herself. Just to prove herself right, she took out Sav's weird psyche evaluation he had given her earlier and began to fill it out.

When she was nearly done, Alli finally arrived, looking happier than Clare had last seen her. She said, "Clare! Fiona just sent a group text message, we're all having dinner tonight at your apartment."

Clare narrowed her eyes, "What exactly does she mean by all of us?"

**oOo**

Clare made a mental note of all the things that were more important than a group dinner. Number 1: Remembering to go to Connor's tonight so they could look at the school database together. Number 2: Getting together a proper intervention for Adam's apparent pill misuse. Number 3: Telling Eli that someone was also tracking and stalking his movements as well. Instead of doing or planning to do any of those things, Clare was, sitting around the kitchen counter, wincing as Sav tried to squish in a place next to her and Alli. According to Fiona's text, everyone really did mean 'everyone.'

Eli and Julia were sitting across the counter, Sav was next to Alli and Clare, Drew and Dave were at the other end of Eli, and Adam, Fiona and some brown haired stranger guy were crouched in the free space that was left. Fiona made a mental note to buy a bigger dining table. Resorting to using the rectangle shaped kitchen counter made the small kitchenette they had, even smaller. The awkward vibe could have been swallowed by a twenty foot ogre wearing a t-shirt that said 'Awkward.'

The pan on the hob in the background bubbled away.

Fiona spoke up, "Thank you for coming, everyone. Julia, Drew, Dave, I don't normally hang out with you so it's nice getting to know you. Oh and everyone, this is Duncan," she gestured to the brown haired stranger guy that had suddenly appeared, "Duncan's in my theatre class. He's from France."

"Say something Francey, French Boy," Alli quipped.

"Alli," Fiona shot her a look with her widened eyes.

Duncan opened his mouth, "I was born in France but I was raised here. See? No accent."

"Boring!" Alli muttered. Clare jabbed her in the ribs and shot her a smirk.

"So anyway, I see all of you got my group text message," Fiona said, looking expectedly to Clare. When Clare didn't say anything, Fiona continued, "Sorry, I forgot to send you one Clare. I know how awful that must have felt, feeling left out. It's not nice to feel left out. That's why I invited Duncan here when I told him about my plans in class."

Duncan shrugged, "I'm really just here for the free food."

Clare gave Fiona a look, "Yeah, it didn't bother me Fiona."

Fiona's nostrils flared, "Really? Well, that's nice to know. Maybe I just won't text you at all in the future since you don't seem to care about anyone else anymore."

"Preachy," Sav scrunched his nose up at Fiona. Clare rolled her eyes. Awkward silence. Clare checked her watch. She should probably leave for Connor's soon.

Fiona spun around to Julia, "So, Jules. Tell everyone something about yourself. We hardly know you."

Julia practically squirmed at the attention. She shrugged and said softly, "I like riding horses, swimming, um, walking?" she cringed.

"Julia likes poetry," Eli quickly interjected, "She's one of the most talented poets I've ever met."

Julia blushed. Clare fumed. Alli flapped her lips together in boredom.

"Oh Sav," Clare pulled out a piece of paper from her pocket and handed it to him, "Here. The psyche evaluation you wanted me to fill out."

"The what?" Fiona frowned.

Sav jumped up, which wasn't easy, because they were all squished together. "I'm helping a friend at school, for her psychology class. I need everyone to fill out these evaluation sheets," he ducked into his nearby bag and pulled out a bunch of duplicate forms. "Everyone take one, please," he began to hand them out to everyone sitting at the kitchen counter.

Eli gave him a look and shook his head with exasperation. Sav gave him a look back, to tell him to shut up.

"This is the weirdest dinner I've ever been to," Duncan said.

"Seconded," Julia added, laughing.

"Oh look at the time, need to go," Clare jumped up suddenly.

"What?" everyone said, apart from Duncan, Drew, Dave, and Julia.

"I need to go," Clare repeated, looking at everyone like they were stupid. "As in, leave."

"Another midnight wander?" Sav muttered under his breath.

"What?" Clare frowned.

"Where are you going?" Eli asked immediately, trying not to sound so demanding but failing miserably.

Clare practically fumed where she was standing, "I'm going _out_," she stalked to the door, grabbed her jacket and walked out, slamming the door behind her.

"This feels like just home," Duncan said.

"Oh, shut up, Duncan!" Fiona snapped. Something pinged in the background.

"Dinner's ready!" Sav cried.

**oOo**

"I'm so sorry!" Clare cried, running down Connor's basement stairs. "I'm sorry I'm late. Hectic dinner I had to attend, but then it just got so annoying so I left—Anyway, never mind me, tell me, what did you find?"

Connor glanced round from his computer screen and said, "It's fine, Clare. I got a little bored, so I did some looking through the school database and searched and cross referenced any pre-existing files of any hyper linked words, such as 'dare', or 'envelope', or 'therapy', and guess what I found?"

"Something deliciously horrible that leads me to a night's peace?" Clare asked hopefully.

"One better," Connor stood up, "I did that search and it came up with one file. One student, last year, was caught out of class, trying to slip an envelope through Drew Torres's locker."

Clare held her breath, "An envelope?"

Connor nodded, "A blue envelope."

Clare almost lost her footing, "You mean a dare? But it has to be Imogen, right?"

"The name of the student caught wasn't Imogen's," Connor shook his head.

"That means the name you found on the school database is the real Dare Overlord, the real mastermind?" Clare took a step towards him.

Connor nodded slowly, "I think so."

"Step aside, Connor," Clare told him, "Let me see that name."

Connor stepped away from the computer screen and Clare moved forwards. Her eyes latched onto the record of the file on the screen.

"Holy shit," Clare gasped.

"I know," Connor nodded, looking at her with sympathy, "I'm so sorry, Clare. What are you going to do?"


	5. Are You True?

**A/N: **Hello! Ohh, I'm quite worried about how this is going to be received actually. I hope everyone likes it. And I also hope someone gets the 30 Rock reference, and if you haven't seen that show already, seriously go watch it. It's fantastic.

Anyway, the one where someone gets accused and Clare goes home.

Enjoy!

* * *

**KILL ME, NOT**

**Chapter Four:**

**"Are You True?"  
**

**oOo**

Connor took another step towards Clare and reached out to steady her. "Clare," he said, "Are you okay? Do you want me to call somebody?"

Clare shook her head a little, trying to process the information she'd just found out. She looked at Connor and said, "Don't tell anyone, okay? Not until I figure out what to do, okay? Just promise not to tell anyone? Okay?"

Connor nodded grimly. "Come on," he said, "I'll give you a ride home."

Clare nodded and followed Connor up his basement stairs, avoiding Simpson, who was sitting in the lounge, watching reruns of the reality TV show Queen of Jordan. They stepped outside and Clare wrapped her cardigan around herself as they walked towards Connor's car. The cold air nipped at her skin and made her feel more vulnerable than before.

It was ten minutes later, when Connor was half way to driving Clare home that he said, "I know you must be shocked, Clare and I don't know if this helps, but the tell tale signs were there all year. Did you ever suspect anything?"

Clare tensed, feeling the pain in her head begin to throb horribly. She shook her head, replying meekly, "I didn't suspect anything. Maybe that's the problem. I should have suspected something. I trust people too much."

"You shouldn't not trust people, Clare," Connor said softly, "Some people are just great at hiding who they really are."

It was at that precise moment that Clare broke down, crying. Connor glanced at her with a horrified look, unsure of what to do. Clare buried her head in her hands and sobbed, her whole body racking with hysterical emotional painful screeches that ripped through the back of her throat and blended in with her endless flow of tears.

Clare suddenly realised that she hadn't really let herself break down. She hadn't let herself cry, properly, not since everything began. And it didn't make her feel better. It made her feel... horrible, weak, crumpled, _broken_. Connor grimaced, confused on the social protocol was. Should he pull over and let her out? Offer a sympathetic arm? Tell her everything would be okay? Instead, he reached over and began to pat her head awkwardly, like a dog.

Clare looked up, accidentally hiccuping at the same time. She laugh/cried at the same time and then stopped abruptly, looking through the wind shield with a sickly feeling brewing in her gut. "Stop the car!" she commanded suddenly and Connor jerked the car over into a side path, braking abruptly. Clare opened the passenger door, stuck her head out and vomited onto the road, retching her empty stomach with painful shrieks.

Clare sat back up, wiping her mouth with embarrassment. She shivered and turned to look at Connor with decisive eyes. "I'm so sick of feeling like I can't handle anything. I'm so sick of feeling vulnerable."

"Then don't," Connor said, "You're the only one who can change your future."

Clare nodded back. "Take me home," she said, "It's time to face the music."

And by music, she meant psycho stalker.

**oOo**

Eli was tidying up in the kitchen when Clare walked through the apartment door. She froze for a moment and then carried on, walking over to the counter and catching Eli's eye.

"Back from your second midnight journey?" Eli asked.

"What do you mean, 'second midnight journey'?" Clare frowned, shaking her head. She had bigger things to worry about, considering what she had just learned.

"I saw you!" Eli cried, "With Jake. The other night. At the Buddha Burger, which by the way is the most dumbest name I've ever heard of. I don't get it. Aren't Buddha's supposed to be like animal friendly or something and that's not even the reason why I'm pissed off, but still, it's an awful name! Why did you go around with Jake? I thought we agreed to be friends, Clare. I'm here, I'm open for illegal acts—well not actually, but I'd be willing to egg someone's house, for fun, Jake's house actually, I'd do more than egg that, really, I'd just—"

"It's a Vegetarian diner," Clare interrupted him, "I think the name is ingenious."

"I'm sure you loved it, considering you and Jake took a wrecking ball to it the other night," Eli snapped.

Clare shook her head, "Did you actually follow me?"

Eli nodded back, "Me and Sav did. That's why he's been acting like a crack head experiencing withdrawal symptoms. He thought you were some gun wielding baseball bat violence loving psycho that was gonna kill us all in our sleep."

"I don't know who I'm more pissed at," Clare snapped back, "You for following me, or Sav, for thinking I was even capable of that."

"Clare, just shut up for one second," Eli glared at her, "Tell me what's going on, or so help me God, I will phone the police and tell them it was you and Jake who vandalised Buddha Burger."

"Which is it?" Clare pretended to think, "Do you want me to shut up or do you want me to explain?"

"The second one," Eli said heatedly.

"Well, it'll have to wait, Eli, I've got bigger things to worry about," Clare snapped back. There a tense, silent moment and Clare said pensively, "Eli, things are going to change soon and whatever happens, I don't want you to blame yourself."

"Has everyone been drinking the cryptic crap around here?" Eli frowned, "What is going on? What do you mean?"

"It's okay," Clare took a deep breath, "I've figured things out. Look, the Jake thing was stupid and a mistake. It won't happen again. I know I said we'd be friends and we are, Eli. No matter what happens, we will _always_ be friends. But right now, I just need some time to process something, okay?"

Eli nodded.

Clare added, "Did everyone go home already?"

Eli nodded again and said, "Yeah. Everyone left. Alli was gonna stay but Sav dropped her off, and took Julia home as well. Drew and Dave got a taxi home. Adam got the bus. Whoever Duncan was, he left right after you did. Apparently he didn't appreciate Sav demanding that everyone fill out that phony psyche evaluation before they ate."

"So it's just you, me, Fiona and Sav," Clare whispered, mostly to herself.

"Like we always are," Eli shrugged back.

"Okay," Clare nodded again, watching him. Eli finished wiping down the kitchen counter before he said to Clare, "Night," he walked past her and down the hallway to his room. Clare watched him go, wishing she had made him stay, wishing she had told him who was really behind everything, wishing she had the guts to do something.

Instead, Clare took a moment. She opened the living room blinds, sat down in her comfy chair and just savoured the peaceful moment as the moonlight trickled down into her seemingly fractured life. She knew she would have to act soon, do something with the information she'd learned, but she was content on just looking around, trying to soak up what was left, before all hell broke loose.

"Clare," Eli's voice startled her.

She spun around, wary. "I have to tell you something, Eli."

**oOo**

Sav picked up his empty pizza boxes, opened his bedroom door and walked down the hallway, with sleep in his eyes. He blinked tiredly, groaned a little and preceded towards the kitchen's bin. As he stepped out of the hallway, his eyes widened when he noticed Clare, sitting in her usual chair, completely awake and alert. He looked sheepishly down his empty pizza boxes and then back up to Clare.

"Sav," Clare greeted him, with a weird tone. "How are you this fine morning?"

"Fine, Clare, how are you?" Sav carried on into the kitchen, dumped his pizza boxes and then wiped his palms against his jeans.

"I'm fine," Clare smiled back. She stood out, "But then again, I could be... I don't know, going crazy, possibly. What do you think, Sav? Do I look crazy to you?"

Sav looked around awkwardly and then glanced to Clare, "I think... you like fine, to me. More than fine, actually. Great, fantastic, wonderful, great, amazing, perfect—"

"You suck at lying," Clare interrupted him by standing up, "Eli told me you two followed me and Jake the other night, and that you think I'm a psycho."

Sav sighed, bringing his head down, "I'm sorry, Clare. Everything's been really confusing lately, especially with this whole Dare Overlord, Imogen thing. I guess I just tried to understand it, and I can't."

"No you can't," Clare sighed back, "It's ironic really, that you thought I was the psycho."

Sav frowned, "What do you mean?"

"It doesn't matter," Clare walked over to the living room window. "Have a good day at college."

"Thanks," Sav took his bag and headed out of the door.

Clare watched from the window as he left the building and headed towards the bus stop. When she let out a breath of confusion, she turned around and found Fiona, standing by the TV, holding a cup of coffee in her hands. She looked polished on this particular day, considering most days she was just drinking and throwing up and dealing with hangovers. Clare stiffened.

"Morning," Fiona said softly. "How are you today?"

"I'm fine," Clare shrugged back. "I'm always fine. And you?"

"Yes, I'm feeling brighter than usual," Fiona walked into the kitchen, "Did Sav leave yet?"

Clare nodded, "Eli isn't up yet, but Sav left."

"I should probably leave too," Fiona put on her denim jacket. "Hey, did you stay up all night?"

"Couldn't sleep," Clare said absent-mindedly. At this very moment, Eli appeared from his room, his hair dishevelled and eyes tired. He was still confused about that conversation he had with Clare last night. It didn't make any sense then and it didn't make any sense now.

"Aren't you going to school, Clare?" Eli asked, grabbing some cold toast from a plate in the kitchen. He slung his messenger bag over his body and looked at her, still in the same clothes she was in last night.

"I can miss one day," Clare shrugged, "Turns out, I really need to."

"Get some sleep," Fiona added lightly as she and Eli left the apartment.

"We'll talk later, Clare?" Eli said before he exited. Clare nodded back. She still had to show him the picture of him and Julia she had found in her locker the other day.

Clare stared at the door for a second after they'd left. She let out a shaky breath. She was finally alone. They were all gone. A strong part of Clare wanted to take a nap – or a really long deep sleep. But she couldn't. She had more important things to think about now. She crossed the distance over to the front door and slung the chain on. If anyone entered, they wouldn't be able to get in.

For what Clare had to do now, she needed privacy. She casually walked over to the radio, tuned her favourite channel in and smiled despite the situation as Proud Mary by Tina Turner came on. She waited for a moment, swinging slightly to the sound and rhythm. When the song kicked in and the sound echoed around the apartment loudly, Clare began.

She began to tear the apartment apart. She flipped over the couch cushions. She over turned the rugs. She raided the kitchen cabinets, the cupboards, the boxes, the bread tins, the storage closet, the nooks and crannies. Once she found nothing, she slipped into the first room that wasn't her own. It was Eli's. She closed the door behind her, discreetly crept through his things, opened his drawers, searched his cupboards, and looked under his bed.

She did this for Fiona and Sav's rooms. She checked their belongings, carefully put everything back the way she had found it and by the time she was done checking the three rooms, she had found what she was looking for. And something else entirely unexpected.

And sadly, that wasn't a good thing.

**oOo**

_Clare knew she was dreaming. She was floating down a beautiful stream, looking up at the untainted forest around her. Flowers were blooming, birds were singing, the sun was shining, it was perfect, a slice of heaven, solitude in a sea of chaos._

_And then suddenly, she wasn't alone. Eli was floating beside her. Clare flipped herself up to stare at Eli. He wasn't the only one there. Imogen was with them. And Sav. Fiona, Adam, Alli. They were all there. Clare frowned. This was her solitude. Her time of peace. Her corner of heaven._

_Why couldn't they just leave her alone?_

_And then they killed her. They grabbed her arms, shoved her the under the water and forced her to drown. Clare struggled, tried to scream, tried to fight. Nothing worked. She was the feather and they were the anchor. They were killing her._

_Clare opened her eyes under water, saw legs and bodies and feet. Salt water pierced her eyes but she forced them to stay open. She was being murdered and all she could do was witness it. The urge to keep water out was so strong that an ache arose in her head. It thumped so strongly, like a blood clot waiting to burst._

_And then she opened her mouth. Water flooded her lungs and she could feel herself drowning from the inside out. Did she deserve this? Maybe. But just before her eyes fluttered shut and chemicals rushed through her brain to make her hallucinate 'the light' everyone claims to see when they die, she was torn from the water and thrown from the stream, landing on a field of grass._

_Clare, drenched, and soaking wet clutched her chest for breath. She stuck her head up, looking around. The forest and stream had disappeared. She was still gasping when a dark figure leered over her. It was Imogen. She was staring at Clare intently, just staring at her like she knew secrets that were worthy of killing for._

"_It's not what you think," Imogen told her coldly. "Nothing's what you think." She brought her hand down to Clare and offered her palm. Clare didn't know why but she took it and Imogen helped her up._

_Imogen added, "I never wanted to hurt you, Clare. That was never my intention."_

"_You tried to kill me," Clare screamed._

"_I did," Imogen admitted, looking down, "But I didn't want to."_

"_What did you want?" Clare whispered. "What did you really want, Imogen?"_

_Imogen suddenly grasped Clare's wrist and pulled her in. "I'm not evil, Clare. Look closer. Dig deeper. I'm not evil."_

"_I didn't say you were," Clare practically spat, "You were mentally ill, disturbed, loca! I guess on some level it wasn't really your fault."_

"_Everything's always black and white with you Christians isn't it?" Imogen rolled her eyes, "Always black and white."_

"_I'm not a Christian anymore," Clare said._

"_Once a Christian, always a Christian," Imogen drawled. Her face suddenly went serious and she looked at Clare, "I'm. Not. Evil. Do you understand?"_

_Clare shook her head. "I'm sorry," she said, and she meant it. "I don't."_

"_It's okay," Imogen shrugged, "I'm dead," she laughed, "There's not much to take offence against anymore. I forgive you."_

_Clare's eyes nearly popped out of her head, "What do you mean, you forgive me? I should be the one forgiving you."_

"_You don't understand everything yet, Clare," Imogen replied, "But you were right to question me. Remember? At the start of the year, you questioned my motives and my mental stability. You wondered what would drive me to kill you, all for a boy?"_

"_You were lonely," Clare said sadly._

"_Clare," Imogen smirked, "I wasn't that lonely. If I was going to kill for someone, I would have chosen someone famous."_

"_So what are you saying?" Clare frowned, losing her ability to keep up with Imogen. "What are you really saying, Imogen? That you were actually obsessed with me?"_

"_Don't flatter yourself," Imogen took a step backwards and looked at Clare. "All I'm saying is, you're not seeing the whole picture, and that's hilarious, because it's all right there in front of you. Why can't you see it?"_

_Clare stayed silent._

"_Don't trust anything," Imogen was walking away from Clare through the fields. "Do you understand me yet, Clare? Don't trust anything."_

"_Imogen!" Clare cried out, desperate for answers. "Imogen! Imogen!"_

"Imogen!" Clare screamed, bolting right up. She looked around, gasping. She was lying on the couch in the living room. She sighed. She remembered resting her eyes for five minutes. How long had it been? Clare looked around again. The chain on the door was still on. The clock on the kitchen wall indicated that it was 3.25pm. She had slept nearly five hours. Nobody was home yet, but they would be soon.

Clare jumped up, unchaining the door. She did a quick once over of the apartment, just to make sure that nobody would realise she had gone snooping through the entire place. She only remembered all of her dream when she was in the shower. Imogen had told her she wasn't evil. Imogen had even tried to help her. Had she?

_Nothing's what you think, _Imogen had said. _Nothing's what you think._

Clare got dressed, left her hair to dry naturally and made herself a sandwich. She had found what she was looking for (and something else) during her little apartment search and although her dream made her feel internally conflicted, she knew what she had to do. She couldn't sweep this one under the rug. Not again.

She took out her phone and sent a group text. It was time to face the music.

**To: Eli, Connor, Sav, Alli, Adam, Julia, Drew, Dave, Fiona**

**Message:** _Mandatory meeting at the apartment tonight. Come prepared._

**From: Clare.**

**oOo**

It was 10.00pm. Everyone was gathered around the living room. Connor, Sav and Adam were sitting on the couch. Fiona, Dave and Drew were perched on their knees around the living room coffee table, Connor was sitting in Clare's favourite chair, Julia was perched on the chair's armrest, Eli was standing against the kitchen counter watching all of them and Clare was standing by the living room window.

"Thank you all for coming tonight," Clare turned around to face them, "I called this meeting because one way or another, this concerns you. I've been getting these anonymous texts, weird gifts, strange leads to restaurants, planted pictures, creepy dolls and I'm pretty sure someone turned off the circuit breaker in the apartment basement last week. I think this person was Imogen's partner, the real Dare Overlord, the real mastermind."

A pin could have dropped.

"This was planted in my locker the other day," Clare presented a picture from her pocket and held it up. It was the picture of Eli and Julia she'd received that week from an anonymous source.

"Is that me?" Julia's voice went high and shaky.

"I'm sorry, Julia," Clare handed her the picture and avoided Eli's gaze. "You're involved too. You should be careful, look where you're going, and make sure nobody's following you."

"Are you serious?" Julia gasped, looking at Eli, "No. We should go to the police. I'm not putting up with this. I've had such a hellish couple of years. The car accident, the coma, I'm not going to be made a victim again."

Clare bit her tongue and held back from saying something inappropriate, like the fact that Julia's _accident_ wasn't really an accident at all.

"Julia, there would be no point," Eli looked worried. "The police would call it a hoax and fine us for wasting their time."

"That's ridiculous," Julia fumed.

"That's the police system for you," Drew shrugged.

"And then I asked Connor to help me," Clare continued.

"I helped Clare get into the school system," Connor looked easily smug, "I got in through a backdoor entrance that I made, myself."

"Why?" Alli frowned.

"Backdoor," Dave repeated and then suddenly sniggered to himself.

"So mature," Sav rolled her eyes.

"Guys," Eli interrupted them. He looked at Clare, "What's your point to all of this, Clare?"

"My point is," Clare began, "That Connor and I were able to look at the school records, the database. And we searched for words like therapy and trouble, suspension and expulsion."

"And what did you find?" Eli's eyebrows creased.

"I found nothing on that search," Connor replied for Clare, "But then we searched dare, or envelopes and we got a match. Just one."

There was an awkward moment.

"I read the record," Clare said quietly. "A Senior last year was caught, slipping a blue envelope into Drew Torres' locker."

"My locker?" Drew asked.

"This is ridiculous," Fiona stood up, "Who do you think you are, Veronica Mars?"

"What's wrong, Fiona?" Clare opened her bag and pulled out a set of stationary. A familiar set of stationary. A stationary that was split into two sides; one with pink envelopes and one with blue envelopes. "Recognise this? You should do, since it's yours."

Fiona stiffened.

"What?" Eli gasped.

"You went through my stuff?" Fiona asked Clare coldly.

"I went your stuff," Clare nodded back, folding her arms.

"Fiona, what the hell is going on?" Eli snapped. "Are you the real Dare Overlord?"

"Of course not," Fiona cried, "Well yes, I am the Dare Overlord. Someone passed it down to me at the start of Senior year and I was having fun with it, sort of. I'm the one that dared Alli to dance on Simpson's desk and I also dared Wesley to sing karaoke at the Beef and Eat Shack on third and west street, but I'm not the one that dared Clare or the one that dared Eli."

"How do we know you're telling the truth?" Eli narrowed his eyes.

"Eli, I wouldn't do that to you and Clare!" Fiona cried, "I swear. I couldn't afford it after my family lost all of their money."

"Okay," Clare licked her lips, "Say that's true. Say we believe you. Say you're not the one that dared Eli or myself. How the hell do you explain this?" she pulled out a black nine millimetre gun from her bag.

Everyone practically ducked.

"That's not mine!" Fiona screamed.

"Well, whose is it?" Clare snapped, "I'm finding this all a little hard to swallow, Fiona. First there's your name on the school record, and the stationary in your bedroom."

"It's mine," Sav stood up, "I got it when I moved in here."

"Why?" Eli shook his head.

"No offence, but someone is out to get you and Clare, or maybe more," Sav held his hand out to Clare for his gun, "I wasn't going to be an idiot and move in here unarmed. It's perfectly legal. I have a license and everything."

Clare looked at Fiona, "I still don't believe you."

"I can vouch for her," Adam suddenly stood up. "Fiona is the real Dare Overlord, but she's not the mastermind behind all of our problems. Someone else used Imogen to plant fake Dares, and I'm guessing she only did it to you and Eli."

"You knew?" Clare's nostrils flared.

"I did," Adam nodded back. "I didn't tell you because no offence Clare, but you're acting like a psycho lately and it's freaking everyone out."

"Me?" Clare hissed, "I'm freaking everyone out?" it hadn't occurred to Clare that she was currently still holding the gun and waving it about. She looked at the gun, sighed and handed it to Sav. Clare added, "What about you, Adam, with your pill popping addiction, or you Fiona, with your alcoholic ass every single night, getting drink in your room?"

An awkward silence arose.

"Where did you find the gun?" Fiona folded her arms.

"Under a loose tile in the bathroom," Clare glared back.

"And you linked it to me, all of your own accord?" Fiona snapped, "That's not fair! I only didn't tell you I was the Dare Overlord because you still blindly believed they were the ones out to get you. It's not me, Clare. Trust me, if I was the psycho trying to kill you, I don't think I could have lasted this long."

"I don't know how you could wait this long to tell me someone planted a picture of me and Julia in your locker," Eli suddenly added, "For crying out loud, Clare, that's my safety we're talking about. You should have told me the second you found it. Why do you think you can do everything all by yourself? You keep going off, with Jake, with Connor, with your theories and none have panned out so far have they?"

Clare suddenly swallowed. She looked and she saw, for the first time. Everyone was looking at her, like she was the crazy one. Eli, Fiona, Adam, even Alli and Sav. Julia looked confused and Drew and Dave were looking at her with pity.

"Do you really think outting mine and Adam's addiction problems to everyone was the best thing?" Fiona asked her, voice laced with undeniable anger. "For your – and everyone's information – Adam and I have been going to Addiction meetings. I've been to AA more times this month than I've had a proper conversation with you, Clare."

"This may seem harsh, Clare," Eli shook his head, "But this is a long time coming. You walk around, on egg shells, as if you're the only one who's been targeted or attacked. Guess what, you haven't. We're all in this together except none of us have accused each other unjustly or pushed each other away or thought we could handle this on our own. We're all struggling. Just like you are."

Clare was frozen to the spot. Things had not turned out the way she expected them too. She thought this would end in a confession from Fiona and a pat on the back from everyone else. Instead, all she was met with was cold judging eyes staring at her. People that were supposed to love her the most, judging her. Hating her.

Maybe she deserved it.

_Nothing's what you think_, Imogen's voice echoed in Clare's mind. _Nothing's what you think._

"I think you should get some help, Clare," Alli's small voice said suddenly, "You're overwhelmed and nobody's saying it's your fault, but your post traumatic stress is making you see patterns that aren't there. You're paranoid."

There was a silent moment and then Adam said, "Listen, I'm gonna go. Fiona, I'll talk to you later."

Slowly, Adam, Alli, Drew, Connor and Dave left. Clare stayed silent, rooted to the spot.

"Julia, I'll give you a lift home," Eli picked up his keys and gave Clare one last look before he walked Julia out.

Sav was already in his room by the time Clare realised it was just her and Fiona left in the living room. Fiona swallowed, her throat dry. She said, "Clare, I'm sorry. I know you're torn up, and us all attacking you like that must have been horrible but you're creating these issues, and I know it's just because of everything that's happened and I really do just want the best for you."

Fiona turned and walked down the hallway to her room. Clare was left standing alone. And even though she had been alone before, she had never felt more alone than now. She could have been surrounded in a crowd and she'd still feel like it was just her. Abandoned. By her father, by her sister, by friends, by the only people that knew the real her.

Horrific realisation dawned on her. What if everyone would leave, if they knew the real her? What if she were destined to be alone forever? Without waiting another minute, Clare ran out the front door, down the landing stairs and outside, where it had decided to pour heavily. She started to run. Pounded against the concrete ground, wanting the ground to open up and swallow her whole. She hated this feeling. Feeling of being trapped and alone.

That feeling that she'd never be safe again. She had no idea her legs were even going a certain way but suddenly there she was. In front of her mother and Glen's new house. She made it to the front door and then she froze. Before she even had time to react, the door swung open and Jake was standing there, looking like he was about to head outside. He looked at Clare, concerned.

"Clare?" he gasped, reaching out to her just as she was about to collapse, "Clare, how did you get to this part of town?"

And with that, she broke down and cried. Jake held her in his arms and cradled her before picking her up and carrying her back into the house. Helen appeared from the kitchen, gaping with horror. She dropped the plate in her hand and ran to her hysterical daughter. Eli was right. This was a long time coming.

And Imogen was right.

Nothing was what it seemed.


	6. Somewhere a Clock is Ticking

**A/N: **Hello! Getting closer to the end now, can't wait to reveal who the real Stalker is!

Review, review, review? :)

* * *

**KILL ME, NOT**

**Chapter Five:**

"**Somewhere a Clock is Ticking"**

**oOo**

Clare breathed in and out, putting one foot down in front of the other, pressing harder each time. Her pulse thudded in her eardrums, keeping pace when her breathing. Her arms moved up and down, willing her to move faster, if not for progress, then at least for something that mattered. Her shoulder length hair was tied into a messy bun and she couldn't care less if her hair looked greasy. Most girls would get on a treadmill and feel self conscious, but not Clare and not tonight. The sweat was like proof, that she was doing something productive, and that was a feeling she hadn't received in a while.

The treadmill beneath her shook with every step she took and was a peak in her running where she wasn't breathing heavily at all. She was just at ease, which was something she hadn't been used to in a while. She pressed a button on the treadmill and slowed down with it until it eventually stopped. She stepped off of the treadmill and unplugged her earphones from her ears. The gym was empty, only a receptionist in the corner, that was half in and out of sleep as he lounged back into his chair and watched a streamed movie on the computer in front of them. Clare was almost sure he had ordered pizza.

She walked into the gym lockers, grabbing her bag and patting her skin with her damp towel. It was almost reaching midnight. Logically, she shouldn't even be out this late, considering what was going on, but this was Clare Edwards and she was sick of getting knocked back down. _Let them try_, a horrible thought entered her mind. Let them try and get her. Maybe then she'll finally find out who's behind this whole thing. Running and exercise was the only thing that kept Clare sane these days. Running, and pounding foot after foot against something was a way of releasing pent up frustration and anger.

She exhausted herself until she had no more energy to over analyse and be paranoid. Clare signed out of the gym, waved goodbye to the night manager Woodie and headed outside, where the cold air nipped her skin. She could walk back to her mother's, the gym was only ten minutes away, or she could get a night bus, or she could even call Jake to come pick her up. Clare pulled out her phone, breathing with relief when she saw that she had no new messages. That should kill her inside actually, to not have any of her friends contact her, but if she had no new messages at all, then there'd be no chances of the real mastermind contacting her either.

It had been a whole week since Clare had last seen her friends. That horrible night where she'd accused Fiona of being the Dare Overlord (which she was) and the real mastermind behind everything (which was wasn't). Also, Sav owning a gun had come as a shock, but she couldn't help but feel a sense of guilt over that one. Maybe everyone blamed her too.

She didn't want to erase all her times with Eli for anything, and she knew it, in the bottom of her heart. He was like an integral part of her being, not like a want, more like a _need_. Not telling him – or Julia – about the picture being planted in her locker was something he was having a hard time dealing with. Clare fought the urge to snap at all of them. It was her who had been getting the anonymous messages, and creepy dolls, and eerie phone calls for months on end, just her, and she hadn't managed to blame anyone, well, apart from Fiona.

Of course, Clare knew at most of what had transpired was in fact, her fault. She had been closed off. She'd started the year wanting a fresh start, wanting to trust her friends, wanting to let Eli back in, but when push came to shove, she couldn't let them in. She took them along with her – only some – but never really let them all the way in. Even Connor didn't really know any of the situation. It was like she had been twisted into this... _thing_, and it wasn't Clare Edwards. Not the girl she used to be. She was still going to therapy with Nina Henderson, and Helen wasn't forcing Clare to open up or go back to Church.

Helen was just finally happy to be back in Clare's life, and everything going on lately had just given Clare a whole new perspective. Why was she so insistent on pushing her family away from her? She needed them more than ever, considering her friends had abandoned her, but she knew deep down, she probably deserved it. She also probably hadn't helped herself by continuing to live in that apartment, especially after finding out about Eli's dare, or Imogen's death. If she had left after that, she might be in a different place than she is now.

Clare was holding her phone, ready to dial Jake's number when a rustle in a nearby bush made her freeze. She looked around. She was alone. Or was she? Clare had only just started her self defence classes, she really doubted her ability to defend herself properly. Maybe scratching and bitch slapping someone in movies was an acceptable way of self defence, but this was the real world and the only thing Clare had going for her was her legs. Running away was becoming a bit of a habit for her and she was getting sick of it. She didn't want to run this time. She wanted to fight.

"Is anybody there?" Clare called out, "I'm armed, by the way. I've got a phone and... a pair of hands and I'm extremely pissed off."

"We'll be sure to take that into account," a male voice said and Eli, Adam and Alli appeared from behind the bushes.

Clare let out a breath of relief. She patted her chest and sighed again as her three friends walked over to her. "Stalking me now?" she asked softly. Eli looked like he hadn't slept in years, Alli had a nervous expression and Adam was just standing there.

"You hadn't come back to the apartment in a week," Eli replied, shrugging slightly, "I got worried. _We_ got worried."

"Yeah, and you've been avoiding me and Adam in school," Alli added, "We asked your Homeroom teacher, you've been in, you've just stayed out of our way."

"How did you even find me?" Clare suddenly frowned.

"Well, we saw your tweet about going to the gym and we just stopped by," Adam said slowly, almost unsure.

Clare titled her head, "You just knew which gym it was?"

Adam nodded.

"No," Alli suddenly smiled brightly, "We must have stopped by ten gyms before coming to this one. We didn't know you were a gym buff."

"I'm not," Clare swallowed, "Jake just thought it would be a healthy way for me to release my... issues."

"I figured you were staying with Jake," Eli said, a little too possessively.

"I'm staying with my mom, actually," Clare replied. "This week has been good for me. I'm not at that apartment, obsessing over things. I feel safe. And besides, considering how we left things... I just assumed you wouldn't want to see me."

"I did absolutely not fall out with you," Alli said firmly, "No way, Clare. I just... I didn't know what to say without offending you, so I left, but I was planning on talking to you the very next day and then when I drop by, nobody's seen you, and you aren't anywhere I've been looking in school."

"I never not want to be your friend, Clare," Adam added, "It's just... You let me down. I needed to talk to someone and you let me down. I felt I couldn't come to you because all you do is talk about the Dare Overlord, or the stalker or the mastermind, or whatever you're calling them. And if you're not obsessing about that, then you're accusing somebody or pushing people away or making plans that don't involve us, your real best friends."

"I'm so sorry," Clare shook her head, "I really, really am. I'm so sorry. I should have been there for you. I should have done more, I know that. I'm sorry I didn't tell you about the picture, Eli. I hope Julia doesn't hate me, and I hope that one day, you'll be able to understand that I am who I am because of everything that's happened. Being changed every single time something bad happens is not healthy, and I'm trying to stop. I'm trying to get better, to get back to a place where I knew who I was."

"We can help, Clare," Eli replied, "We're all going through the same thing. Even Fiona, despite her flimsy attitude, this is affecting her the same as you. She's just dealing with it differently, we all are."

"I love you all so much," Clare looked at them sadly, "I look at you all and I know that someday we're going to go back to how we used to be," she glanced at Eli and saw a flicker of emotion in his eyes, "But it's not today and it's not right now."

"Clare?" Alli asked.

"I don't know who's behind this, so I pinpoint blame on someone, so I can stop worrying," Clare licked her lips, "But I keep getting it wrong every time. I don't blame you guys for anything, but living in that apartment, and being around you all just reminds me of what happened, to me, to Imogen to all of us, and spending so much time obsessing over it is not working out for me. I need to distance myself, from that apartment, from the situation, from everything."

"You're moving out?" Eli asked, alarmed.

"I think so," Clare nodded, "I'll pay for my part for the upcoming month of course, and I'll let you know about any definite changes way before then, but until something changes, until I change, I have to stay away. Do you understand?"

"No," Eli said honestly. Alli and Adam looked away, sad.

There was a whirring noise in the background and Clare craned her neck past Eli to see Jake's car pulling into the gym car park behind them. "There's my ride," she said, hoping that Jake wouldn't find it necessary to get out of his car, but sighing and grimacing when she saw his long legs step out.

"Your mom got worried," Jake said as he walked over to them, "She sent me to get you."

"I was just about to call you," Clare waved her phone about, "She needs to calm down."

"She's worried," Jake added, shrugging. He looked at Eli, Alli and Adam and forced a smile, "Hi."

"Hi," Alli batted her eyelids while Adam sighed and Eli rolled his eyes.

"If there's an emergency," Clare began, "Call me, okay?" she brushed past Jake and headed for his car.

"See you guys," Jake couldn't help but wear his smirk a little as he followed after Clare.

"I hate that guy," Eli said as he watched Jake's car drive off.

"Me too," Adam agreed.

Alli was grinning, "I thought he was gorgeous."

**oOo**

Fiona glanced at Eli across the counter with a cup of coffee in her hand and said incredulously, "Absolutely not."

Julia was sitting next to Eli, browsing through a textbook. Sav was scrubbing the kitchen counter behind them.

"Why not?" Eli cried, "It's a good idea!"

"It's a terrible idea," Fiona shot back, "Absolutely not."

"You can't call a decision for everyone," Eli folded his arms, "Sav, do you agree with me or not?"

"What?" Sav said, distracted. He turned around to give them his full attention and waited for the question.

"Should we have a party tonight or not?" Eli asked.

"Yes," Sav nodded and went back to cleaning.

"That's not fair, Clare's not here to vote against you two," Fiona sat back and sulked.

"Yeah and who's fault is that?" Eli couldn't help but jibe back.

"Not just mine," Fiona glared at him, then it vanished as soon as it crossed her face, "Look, it was mostly my fault but everybody joined in just like I did so it's not _all_ my fault. I'll talk to Clare when she comes back, okay? I'll smooth things over, god knows there can't be in fighting considering there's someone out there who wants us dead."

"We don't know that for definite," Sav added, "All we know is—"

"Clare is being stalked, and I am too, and Imogen was murdered, after trying to kill Clare and accidentally getting me," Eli interrupted him, "So it's safe to say that murderous motives are a big probable."

"I swear I'll never get used to hearing you talk like this," Julia admitted suddenly, "I mean, it's just so weird, it's like we're in a horribly written episode of CSI or something. This isn't normal, people don't just talk about murderous motives like it's a normal way to live. I think we should take everything we know and go to the police. They're still trying to find Imogen's murderer."

"Maybe we should go to the police," Fiona shrugged, "I mean, trying to find things out on our own isn't getting us anywhere, you saw what Clare's like now. Maybe it's time to call in the big guns."

"The big guns?" Eli tried to keep a straight face.

"They'll take a note of everything down and then they'll tell us to keep a look out," Sav added, "Or they'll try and comfort you with some made up rubbish about how we should call them if we feel worried and then that's it. That's all they can offer. I mean, it would be great if we had our very own Sherlock Holmes but we're fresh out of English men wearing tweed hats."

"Tweed's all the rage in England," Julia added knowingly, "They just love tweed, it's the old Professor look."

Fiona sighed dramatically, "So, no party, no tweed, and no way of feeling safe in my own apartment. Fantastic."

"Why do you want a party to begin with?" Eli grabbed a nearby pancake, "The last time we had a party Jenna and Bianca snuck into my room and ruined everything. Why do you want to risk something bad happening again?"

"I count on something bad happening again," Fiona said coyly.

"What do you mean?" Sav asked.

"I've been thinking," Fiona stood up, "I think we should have another party. Invite absolutely everyone and then get them to put all their bags and jackets and belongings in my room and then while everyone's off partying, we search their things and try to piece something together. You said so yourself, Eli, we're all being stalked, so it only makes sense that the stalker would attend. Right?"

"It's a long shot," Julia said lightly.

"Well it's the only shot we've got," Fiona folded her arms. "I mean, aren't you sick of this? We've lost Clare and we're always one step behind everything. Enough is enough."

"You're becoming what Clare became," Eli said coldly, and everyone stopped what they were doing to stare at him.

Fiona hissed, "What did you say?"

"Stop... _obsessing_," Eli said slowly, "It gripped Clare and it turned her into something that she wasn't, so stop, obsessing. We had one, we don't need another."

"I'm going," Fiona grabbed her jacket, "Got classes all day."

"Adam left a message for you while you were in the shower," Julia said quickly, "Sorry I forgot until now. He said he needs you tonight, to go to a meeting with him, I don't know what meeting it is—"

"It'll be an AA meeting," Fiona interrupted her, "Or an addict's meeting, same thing, depending on where you go," she gave Eli a loaded look and then walked out of the apartment, slamming the door behind her.

"I don't remember Adam calling earlier," Eli frowned at Julia.

"He didn't," Julia bit her lip, "I made it up."

"Why?" Sav rounded on her.

"So Fiona would stop going on about the party," Eli said before Julia even opened her mouth to reply. "That's helpful."

"That's devious," Sav added. "And a lie—"

"Helpful," Eli corrected him, sending him a look. He turned to Julia, "Thank you."

"I was just trying to help," Julia explained, "You're right. A party is not what anyone needs right now. Having a party in this apartment would be like inviting starving lions to the all you can eat buffet. Anyone could walk in here. _Anyone_."

"I better call Adam," Eli pulled out his phone, "Make sure he knows to go along with it," he walked off into the lounge, leaving Julia and Sav in the kitchen.

"I'm sorry if I offended you," Julia told him quietly, "I'm just tired of feeling helpless. The stalker's photographed me now, and I don't know why."

Sav looked at her from his position and replied, "You really don't know? I find that hard to believe."

"I don't know what you mean," Julia frowned.

Sav licked his lips, "Come on, Julia. You're a bright girl. Why in the world would anyone plant a picture of Clare's ex boyfriend and his ex together, in her locker? You really can't work that one out?"

"Eli and I are just friends," Julia flushed pink.

"Maybe now," Sav nodded back, "But Clare seeing the guy she loves with another girl will kill her inside, and whoever planted that picture in her locker knew that. Maybe you and Eli will still be friends, now, in a year's time, maybe two year's time, but maybe one day Eli will turn around and see you as girlfriend material, and that's why you're included in this now. To be blunt, you're just somebody's pawn."

Julia looked down.

"Now I've offended you," Sav shook his head, "I'm sorry, I'm not usually like this, I never got much sleep last night. It's just... I think deep down, everyone knows that Clare and Eli will get back together and some people view you as..."

"In the way?" Julia finished for him, "I'm not trying to get in the way. Eli was my best friend before he was my boyfriend and then my ex. We were friends before any of that, and I'm still his friend. I know he loves Clare and I know Clare loves him. I've got no intention of coming between that."

"Well, great," Sav nodded, "That's good, because I know Eli losing another friend right now would be devastating."

"That's Adam all clued up," Eli said as he walked back into the kitchen, "I've got classes as well. Julia, feel free to hang about here if you want. Sav, have you got classes today?"

"Nope, but I do have my job," Sav said, "Which I'm not due for until tonight. Got switched places, I'm now a security man. Night shift. Yay for me."

Eli nodded and headed for the door, "Okay, got my phone. Later!"

"That's odd," Sav muttered.

"What is?" Julia looked at him.

Sav waited a moment and then said, "Eli doesn't have classes today."

**oOo**

Eli sauntered down the Church aisle, heading straight for the row of Confessionals at the end of the large religious space. He stopped at the one with a red bow tie hanging on the front and glanced around before slipping inside.

"Bless me Father for I have sinned," he said.

The window separating his booth from the joint one slid backwards and Clare revealed herself. "Well my child," she said, "Do tell."

Eli couldn't help but hide the smirk on his face, "Everyone's buying it then?"

Clare nodded, "Everyone thinks I am at odds with my friends. That little fight we had last week convinced everyone and my crying at my mother's door was the cherry on top. Nobody knows the truth."

"What is the truth exactly?" Eli asked, "Because even I'm starting to get confused myself."

"I don't know," Clare whispered, looking down, "But whoever's behind this has ears and eyes on us at all times. We have to make it look like we aren't talking. I honestly don't know if I believe Fiona, I really don't, but even if it's not her, then it's someone else we know, who knows us. We need to lay low, be careful, keep our eyes open. Maybe whoever it is will think they've won and slip up, make a mistake."

"Jake is behaving himself?" Eli asked after a moment.

"More than necessary," Clare answered, "He's being gentlemanly. He doesn't know anything."

"I miss you," Eli breathed. He reached his hand across the open window and touched Clare's face. Clare moved closer towards the window and sighed. Eli said, "How much longer will we have to be apart?"

"I don't know," Clare touched his hand on her cheek and watched his eyes flutter. "Soon. When this is all over. I realised how much I missed my mother, though. She needs me. She's missed me."

"I'm so glad you decided to trust me again, to let me in," Eli brought their faces together, their lips inches apart.

"How could I not?" Clare pressed their foreheads together. "After all we've been through, I couldn't do it without you."

**.  
**

_**One Week Ago**_

_Eli finished wiping down the kitchen counter before he said to Clare, "Night," he walked past her and down the hallway to his room. Clare watched him go, wishing she had made him stay, wishing she had told him who was really behind everything, wishing she had the guts to do something._

_Instead, Clare took a moment. She opened the living room blinds, sat down in her comfy chair and just savoured the peaceful moment as the moonlight trickled down into her seemingly fractured life. She knew she would have to act soon, do something with the information she'd learned, but she was content on just looking around, trying to soak up what was left, before all hell broke loose._

_"Clare," Eli's voice startled her._

_She spun around, wary. "I have to tell you something, Eli."_

"_What is it?" Eli crossed the distance between them, "Are you finally going to let me in this time?"_

"_Yes," Clare embraced him suddenly, "Yes, I am. I'll tell you everything, and I need you to do something for me."_

"_Anything," he whispered._

"_Kiss me," Clare's fingers ran through his hair._

_Eli smashed his lips into hers, moving and pulling and taking all in one moment. Clare kissed back harder, pulling on his hair and desperately pushing them both closer together. She needed him._

"_I'm sick of pushing you away," Clare admitted after their heated moment, "I've kept things back from you and I'm sorry. I need you to trust me now."_

"_I do," Eli swore fiercely, "Absolutely and completely."_

**.  
**

"You still think we shouldn't tell anyone?" Eli asked her, their lips brushing each other's softly.

"No," Clare shook her head, "I can't trust anyone but you right now."

"I have to admit, your choice of meeting place is a little... kinky," he glanced around their joint Confessional box.

"Everyone thinks I've given up my faith," Clare whispered back, "A Church is certainly the last place they'd find me. And you, but that's for other reasons altogether."

"Do go on," Eli muttered. He claimed her lips fiercely and pushed his body against the wooden panel separating them.

"This feels really quite wrong," Clare said thickly against his lips. "We're in a Confessional, in a Church, and we could be caught at any moment."

"That makes it all the hotter," Eli smirked.

"Kiss me quick," Clare gripped his head and pulled him closer. "Because somewhere a clock is ticking." They ground closer to each other and Eli wanted to savour this moment forever. He and Clare were back together. Everything would soon be as it was.

At least, that's what he thought.


End file.
